Decisions and Consequences
by Atrilial
Summary: When Mikan returns from the past with Nodacchi and the others, she has to make a decision. But when she finally does decide, the consequences are beyond what any of them could imagine. And who is this new baby in the dangerous abilities class? N/M
1. Confession

Ok all, so this fanfiction starts when Nodacchi brings Mikan and the others back from learning about her parents in the past. There are going to be possible spoilers up to chapter 110. I will be writing names in Japanese order, which is surname first, given name last. Occasionally I will use Japanese words, because I like to, and there will be translations for these at the end of the chapter. Thanks for reading.

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! Author's Note 3/23/2010:

Okay, so, first off, I'm sorry I've been away so long everyone. My comp broke, my husband joined the military, and we moved overseas since I wrote last so I haven't had much of an opportunity to write. As is quite obvious to anyone following the regular Gakuen Alice updates, several more chapters have come out since I started this that revealed some very important information. Therefore I have decided to tweak the first chapter or so of this story. Don't worry all; the essence of the story is going to remain the same. I'm just going to change a few things.

First off, to give you an idea of how I'm going to do this. This story will now have a spoiler warning up to chapter 127. I'm going to keep everything from the flashback arc the same, except that Mikan does not make a decision to go with Yuka (chap 121-122). Instead, Nodacchi tells them it's time to go back without her having made the decision. I'm still keeping the part where she is given everyone's stones. Essentially, they decide since they don't know what is going to happen when they get back, to give them to her as encouragement and to be prepared. Hope this makes sense. So, with all that, this story will be starting at the end of chapter 123 (excluding the part showing the empty principal's room). Sorry for the wordy note. Just wanted everything to be clear. If you are one of my old readers, be sure to reread this first chapter, if nothing else, as it will be the most changed. Thank you for your understanding and continued reading.

Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were, Gakuen Alice and all the lovely and not so lovely people connected to it are not mine. Though, I have definite plans in motion for stealing Natsume for myself when he's all grown up. Not sure my husband would appreciate that though.

* * *

In a blur of light, Nodacchi returned with the students to the High School Principal's office. Mikan slipped the Alice stones into her pocket as Tsubasa appeared seconds later with Nobara and Tonouichi in tow. She quickly noticed the conspicuous lack of two people. Neither Narumi-sensei nor her mother were there. Before she had time to dwell on this, there were voices all around her, talking, asking questions. She couldn't focus. Everything was too much for her to grasp. There was so much going through her mind that she started to feel dizzy.

"Oi!" Natsume's voice beside her drew her attention and that of everyone else in the room. "She's overwhelmed with all this. Can't you guys just give her some time to sort out her thoughts?"

The teachers were quiet for a moment before the High School Principal's voice responded with calm authority. "He's right. We'll give her some time to gather her thoughts. This is a very difficult decision of course." Turning to Mikan, his gaze softened a bit. "I'll give you until the morning, but by then you really must have your answer. Time is of the essence, I'm afraid."

Mikan just nodded her head slowly, barely comprehending what he was saying. She looked up when she felt people grab each of her hands. Watching her in his guarded, observant way, Natsume held her left hand while Hotaru offered a small, encouraging smile as she held her right. Just behind Natsume, Ruka watched her with concern clearly etched on his face.

"It's already fairly late," Sakurano-senpai observed quietly. Mikan followed his gaze and was surprised to see that it was dark outside the window already. The interference to Nodacchi's bracelet had made them return quite a bit later then they had left. "Shall I show them where to sleep for tonight?" Sakurano inquired of Principal Yukihara. The principal nodded, and Sakurano gently laid his hand on Mikan's back. "This way…"

Mikan and the other's followed Sakurano-senpai down the hall in silence. After showing them the room they would be sharing and helping them lay out futons to sleep on, he left, telling them he would be just outside the door keeping watching should they need anything. The group stood quietly in the center of the room, before Ruka finally broke the silence.

"You must be really tired, Mikan. Don't worry about figuring anything out tonight. You can decide what you want to do in the morning. For now you should just focus on getting some sleep." He smiled softly at her. Mikan nodded her head absently and made her way to her futon, laid out beside Hotaru's.

"Oyasumi, Mikan," Ruka called quietly as he lay down on his own futon. Hotaru lay beside Mikan, still holding her hand, offering quiet comfort in the dark room. With a last glance at Mikan, Natsume walked over to his futon and lay down as well. He stared up at the ceiling, his hands behind his head, as wave after wave of different emotions rolled through his heart. He knew he probably wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. He doubted that Mikan would either.

Mikan's mind raced as she lay there in the dark. She thought of what Narumi had said just earlier that day, though it seemed ages ago. _Leave with me to the outside._ Then the high school principal, her uncle, had recommended she leave with her mother. Her mother. Azumi Yuka really wasn't the villain Mikan had believed her to be. She had been through so many hardships and seeing and understanding the past had made Mikan come to love her mother dearly. But regardless, could she leave this place with her? Was that the best course for everyone involved? There was so much more to this decision than she had originally thought; so many twisted secrets and years of struggle were hidden behind the school's innocent façade. It was an overwhelming decision to have riding on her. How many people's lives would be affected by her choice?

Hotaru would be leaving soon anyway, but what about Ruka, Koko, Permy, Iinchou, and the others? What about Natsume? Could she really leave him? They said it would be safest for everyone involved if she left. It was too dangerous for her to be where the Elementary School Principal could get to her, but what would happen to him if she left. She knew his Alice was slowly killing him. It was easy to see he had the fourth type, no matter how he tried to hide it. She couldn't believe she had been blind to it for so long, just like her mother with Kaoru. She was an idiot. He was always in so much pain. If she left, wouldn't he just keep using his Alice to fight against the school until it killed him? He promised her he wouldn't go anywhere, wouldn't die, but how could he really promise that? The image of Kaname in the hospital flashed in her mind, and then instead of Kaname's face, it was Natsume's. It made her sick with dread to think of it.

The very thought of him dying sent a sharp pang through Mikan's heart. She couldn't imagine never seeing him again. As she thought about him, memories over the past few weeks, especially today, flooded into her mind. She remembered the whole mess with Luna. She had been hurt, of course, when Natsume seemed to choose Luna over her. But there had been more to it than that. Something else about it had bothered her too. She had felt jealous, seeing him so close to another girl. But why? She hadn't understood at the time. Then, during the borrowing race, he practically confessed to the entire school that his was in love with her, albeit in disguise. Then the hug, when she had felt so betrayed by him. That hug had made her see things more clearly, had made her see that he was suffering too, that he hadn't truly betrayed her, but it had also confused her. Why had her heart raced so much when he held her?

Then today, he had saved her once again. He had stood against the Elementary School Principal, Persona, and the entire dangerous abilities class, and announced that he loved her and would protect her no matter what. Then, after they had escaped, after Narumi had asked her to leave with him, Natsume had opened up to her once more. He told her he didn't want to let her go. He wished that he could be a grown-up, so that he could save her and take her away himself. Over the last few weeks, Natsume had opened up more and more of his heart and feelings to her. She now knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he loved her. Reaching her hand up to the necklace she wore, she clasped the stone she now knew was his. Again she remembered being told of the romantic exchanging of stones. It was a promise, a proposal…further proof that he loved her.

And she now knew where her heart stood as well. As she had turned to him, asking the question she already knew the answer, asking if he was dying, she had realized how much she relied on him, how much she needed him, how much she loved him. She felt a little pang in her heart as she remembered Ruka. He had realized it then too, as he watched Natsume holding her. It had been plain as day on his face that he knew to whom her heart belonged. But he had let her go with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. He was so kind. Mikan's eyes stung with tears at the idea that she had broken her dear friend's heart.

Natsume was confusing and often cold. He did things in ways that were hard to understand, like Hotaru. He was deeply loyal and selfless and saw things that no one else did. And to her, he was a constant warmth. A fire, like his Alice, that protected her, surrounded her. He could be so gentle, so kind. Her mind raced through memories: Natusme about to sacrifice himself to save her and Permy after they had been kidnapped by Reo, and his expression when she had been thrown against the wall when trying to help him escape; the first time he said her name, at the party at the end of the Cultural Festival; the Christmas Party, when he kissed her in the tree because she had said that the tooth kiss wasn't a real kiss; the way he had clung to her that New Year's night when she had slept in his room; the night she learned Tsubasa had disappeared, and Natsume appeared in her window because he knew she would be crying. So many memories. As she remembered them, she was surprised that she could have been blind to her heart for so long. It now felt so obvious that she had been falling in love with him for quite some time. She was in love with Natsume. Deeply in love with him. So in love with him she was sure it would be like physical pain to be separated from him. From their mothers' friendship, till now, it felt like they had been destined for each other.

Mikan sighed, resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. Slowly, she sat up, sliding her hand out of the sleeping Hotaru's. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed the window on the far side of the room actually opened up into a balcony. Tiptoeing across the room, she slide the door open and stepped out into the refreshingly cool summer night air.

"Yo," a voice said softly to her left, making her nearly jump out of her skin as she realized she wasn't alone. Spinning around, her eyes met Natsume's as he stood against the wall watching quietly with his arms crossed. His fiery eyes looked so intensely gentle and sad, so vulnerable, that it made her heart ache in her chest.

"Baka, don't scare me like that," she tried to scold him, but looking into those eyes, it didn't come out with much power. Natsume had felt she'd be joining him on the balcony sooner or later. _What is going through your mind, _he wondered as he watched her._ What will you decide?_ Mikan turned to look up at the sky, and the pair of them stood there in silence for a good while.

"Are you going to leave with her? Your mother?" Natsume asked quietly, ducking his head to hide his eyes with his bangs. He was afraid of what her decision would be, afraid of losing her, even if just for a time, but he had to know. Mikan turned to look at him, thinking about how to answer his question. Finally, she settled for the truth.

"I don't know." When Natsume didn't respond, she continued. "I don't want to leave. I hardly even know her, though I love her already. She has been through so much for everyone, fighting alone for so long. I want to help her, support her. I don't want her to be alone anymore. But I don't want to leave all of my friends, this school. I know everyone says I shouldn't be thinking about everybody else right now, but I'm so worried. What will happen to everybody if I leave? Besides, I don't like the idea of running when everybody else stays behind to fight. But if I really am so valuable to the principal, then maybe I have to leave. Maybe if I stay, I will just be putting everyone in more danger."

Mikan let her thoughts pour out of her. "But I really can't bear the thought of leaving everyone. Especially you." Natsume gently grabbed her had for support and comfort as she talked, but said nothing. "And even if I do leave, I know you'll keep fighting, and you'll keep using your Alice, and you'll get sicker and sicker like Kaname-senpai." Her eyes welled up, and she started crying. "And then you might die, even though you say you won't, and I wouldn't be around to say goodbye. But even if I stayed that might happen, because you would constantly be trying to protect me. But I don't want you to die because I love you, and I just realized it, and I wouldn't even have the chance to tell you because you'd be dead."

Natsume's sharp intake of breath brought Mikan back to reality, and she slapped her free hand over her mouth in shock as she realized what she'd just said. Natsume stared at her, wide-eyed, his heart racing. He held felt it was true, when he had held her as she cried after realizing his Alice was stealing his life away. But suspecting that it was true and hearing it straight from her mouth were so very different. Before Natsume could find his voice, Mikan was rambling again, blushing furiously.

"Ah! Sorry! I didn't mean to say it like that. I hadn't meant to confess that way. Baka baka." He watched in awed fascination as she lightly smacked herself in the head, before swiping at her eyes to get rid of the tears that had been there. His heart climbed into his throat as she stepped closer to him, her cheeks bright red. Hiding her eyes behind her bangs, she restarted. "Natsume, I didn't realize it until just a little while ago, but I think it's been true for a really long time. Natsume, I love you."

Natsume stood frozen, staring at her in wonder. His heart felt like it was doing gymnastics routines in his chest. After a few moments, he finally found his voice, albeit weakly. "Honto? Honto ni?" His voice was barely more than a whisper. Mikan kept her head down in embarrassment, but nodded. Reaching out gently, as though if he touched her, she could break, he placed his hands on the sides of her face and turned it up so his eyes met hers. She gasped when she realized how close his face was. His crimson eyes burned with the same intense, gentle fire as before, but now there was joy shining in them also. It took her breath away. She had never seen him so happy. In fact, smiles were so rare on his face it was always a treasure to see them. Right now, his faced almost seemed to glow. His eyes closed as he pulled her closer to him and, for the second time, pressed his lips to hers.

This kiss was nothing like the first one. After initially widening her eyes in shock, Mikan closed them and focused on trying to kiss him back. They were both inexperienced, but despite the awkward newness of it, the kiss was so very sweet. Natsume gently slide one of his hands into her hair, which was out of its pigtails for the night. The other he wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She clung to the front of his shirt with her hands as they slide quietly down the wall till she was sitting in his lap.

As they kissed, Natsume tried to remind himself why this was a bad thing. Why he had not wanted her to fall in love with him. His arguments about not wanting to drag her into his darkness were null and void, seeing as the Elementary School Principal seemed determined to do this regardless of whether Natsume was involved. Ruka, in all his kindheartedness, had already given them his blessing, had given her up with tears and a smile. _Gomen, Ruka._ As Natsume kissed her, he knew nothing could convince him to let her go now that he had her. He needed her so desperately. He knew Ruka had seen this too. After a few moments longer, Natsume pulled away. Blinking up at him in a daze, Mikan gave him a small smile before bursting into tears.

"Mikan? Mikan, what's wrong?" Natsume's mind raced as he tried to figure out what had sparked this burst of hysterics. Had he hurt her somehow? Upset her? He didn't have to wait long for the answer.

"What do I do, Natsume? What do I do? I don't want to leave. But if I stay, you'll keep trying to protect me, and you'll keep getting hurt. I don't want you to die! Please, please don't die, Natsume." Ah, now he remembered his other reason for keeping her away. Because, no matter what, he would protect her. And he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone, especially her, if his Alice eventually killed him. But she had sensed this awhile ago. And when she had beseeched him not to leave, he had promised himself he would stay alive. He would fight. He wouldn't let his Alice beat him. Again he whispered assurance in her ear.

"Shhh…don't cry. I already told you, silly girl, I won't die. Like I could leave you alone. No matter what, I'll stay alive." His heart ached as he held her in his arms. She sobbed and sobbed, despite his reassurances. After a while, her cries turned to hiccups, then her hiccups calmed into soft snores as she fell asleep in his arms. His rested his head against the top of hers, holding her closed to him, as he slowly drifted to sleep too.

* * *

Oyasumi – Goodnight

Honto? – Really?

Honto ni? – Is it really true?

Gomen – Sorry

Thank you for reading. Please R&R. I'll try to post the next chapter soon.


	2. Decision

So here's the second chapter. I think at some point I'll probably go back through and rewrite all these chapters to make them a bit more detailed. Maybe. Anyway, on with the story.

03/23/2010: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: I still do not own Gakuen Alice. Sadness…

* * *

Ruka shuddered as cold air swept through the covers. After tossing and turning a few times, trying to fall back to sleep, he finally gave up with a sigh. Rolling over, he looked for the source of the cold air. It was still dark outside. What time was it? Looking out the window, he realized the source of the cold air. The window was a sliding glass door, and it had been left partially open. Natsume was not on his futon. That must be why the door was open.

The blonde boy stood, stretching, and made his way over to the door. Quietly, he slipped out onto the balcony in search of his best friend. _Natsume must be having a really hard time with the possibility of Sakura-san leaving. I hope he doesn't try to do anything drastic._ He shivered as the air blew through his clothes. Looking around, he saw no sign of Natsume. Frowning in concern, he turned to go back inside when his spotted them against the wall, just to the side of the door: Natsume and Mikan.

Ruka tried not to let it affect him, seeing his best friend and the girl he was in love with clinging to each other while they slept, but regardless he found his heart in his throat. Even though he had given her up, even though he was happy they were together, it still hurt. Somehow he knew, seeing them there like that, even without them telling him. He knew she had told Natsume her choice. It had already been made, but he was happy for Natsume that she had made everything clear. In truth, he had seen it coming a long time ago. Natsume and Mikan relied on each other, needed each other, in a way that Mikan had not needed him. But knowing it to be true and seeing it confirmed there before his eyes were very different. It was far more painful than he had anticipated. Not wanting to disturb them, he turned to go back into the room.

Natsume woke to the creaking of floorboards. Aware that someone was on the balcony with them, he blinked awake quickly, tense. But it wasn't Persona or any of the dangerous abilities class as he had feared. Rather, he saw the blonde hair of his best friend. Ruka's posture was slumped forward as he walked toward the door, defeated. _Ah, Ruka. Ruka, I'm sorry._

"Ruka…"

Ruka stopped, stiffening just slightly at the voice, before his shoulders slumped forward again. He didn't turn around. Natsume didn't need to feel guilty over this. Ruka didn't want him to see how much his heart was still aching.

"Ruka, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." Natsume's voice was rough with emotion, barely over a whisper, but Ruka heard him clearly. Finally, he turned around to face his friend, attempting to smile like he had earlier.

"What are you apologizing for? I'm happy for you. Really…" Ruka could feel the tears pricking his eyes again, and he knew Natsume could see them too. Ducking his head, he hid his eyes in embarrassment and shame for not being able to be truly happy for his friend. He wanted to be. Oh how he wanted to be. He wanted to be able to smile brightly at Natsume at this moment and tell him he was glad that he had found love, that he wouldn't be lonely anymore.

The silence dragged on between them for many moments, neither sure how to break it. Never in their friendship had there been such a wall between them, and Natsume feared he might lose his best friend forever. But how to comfort him? How to make him smile, when he knew he was the very cause of Ruka's pain? He knew how hard it had been for Ruka to give her up with a smile in the first place. It must be so much harder now, seeing them so close like this, seeing what he could never have.

Natsume was startled by a strange sound suddenly coming from Ruka. It almost sounded as though he was choking. Alarmed, he was about to move Mikan out of his lap and rush to his friend, when Ruka lifted his face. He was laughing with tears rolling gently down his cheeks.

"What a ridiculous fool I am. Really, I'm happy for you Natsume. You two belong together. I've always known that." He swiped the tears from his eyes and smiled genuinely at Natsume. Natsume continued to watch his friend with concern, but the guilt on his heart lighten just a little. "I'm going back to bed now. The cold air just woke me up." Ruka beckoned to the sliding glass door that was still open. "Didn't mean to wake you. Oyasumi."

With that, he stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him. He walked quietly back to his futon, lay down, and cried silently into his pillow until he fell asleep.

Natsume leaned his head back against the wall. He wasn't foolish enough to think that Ruka was suddenly all better, but he hoped with time that he would be. This time, Natsume couldn't be his strength. Looking back down at the girl still sleeping like a rock in his lap, his eye twitched slightly. His legs felt numb and tingly. He tried to shift to relieve them without waking Mikan, but it was no use. Finally, he sighed in defeat, resigning himself to the discomfort.

A small coo from the girl in his arms drew his attention away from his awkward position. She shifted, yawned, and blinked awake. Stretching, she tried to focus on where she was. It was still dark, so it wasn't morning yet, but why was she outside? It all came rushing back to her as her eyes met a pair of crimson ones staring back just inches away.

"Ah!" She jumped out of Natsume's arms and scrambled back to her feet. Rubbing the back of her head, she apologized as Natsume stood, his legs nearly giving out as they slowly woke up. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. Sorry. Are you okay?"

"Baka, I'm fine." Natsume tousled her hair playfully, smiling at her. Mikan ducked her head, blushing as she remembered everything that she had said before she fell asleep. Not sure what to say, she turned to look out from the railing over the high school division. The stars were clearly visible in the sky above them and a nearly full moon lit up the grounds in a way that looked almost magical.

"It's so quiet, so peaceful. I wish things could just always be like this." Frowning, Mikan remembered the decision she had to make. There were only a few hours left before the high school principal, her uncle, would want her answer. But what would she tell him?

Natsume stood quietly beside Mikan, looking out over the school as well. _What is she thinking? What will she decide?_ He ached to think of her leaving him, but maybe it would be for the best. Maybe that was what was safest for her. Yet, somehow, it just didn't see possible to him that she could be safer away from him, where he couldn't be there to protect her. Without a word, he quietly slipped his hand into hers, needing the reassurance that she was still there and hoping to offer comfort to her as well.

Mikan wrapped her hand around his and tightened her grip, clinging to the strength his presence offered her. Holding his hand in hers reminded her of another time, just yesterday, thought it seemed years ago, when he had held her hand. She remembered so clearly the words he had said then. _This hand that brought you out of there…I don't want to give this hand of yours to someone else. If only I had power…in this instant…I want to become an adult so that I can bring you out and run away with you._ The words rang in her head as strongly as if he had just spoken them. If only they were grown-up. If only they could run away together. If only…

But why couldn't they? Why did they have to be grown-up? They were Alices after all. There had to be a way to get around it. They wouldn't have to look grown-up all the time, just enough for the important stuff, like finding a place to stay or getting a job. Wasn't there a way they could be grown-up just sometimes? Something like a candy that you could eat that would make you get bigger? Something like…Gulliver's candy! That's was what they needed. But hadn't all of Hotaru's been confiscated? Where would she find more? But if Hotaru had gotten a hold of it once, surely there was a way to get it again. There had to be more somewhere in this school. If they could just find some, they could run away, escape this school through the secret warp hole, like they had before. Her and Natsume.

If they ran away together, then the principal was bound to be focused on catching them. That would be a good distraction for the teachers and senpai to put their plans into action. And with her and Natsume on the run, the teachers should have a fairly easy time protecting the others. She was sure that the elementary school principal would pour all his resources into hunting her and Natsume down. The hardest part would be staying just a step ahead of him, not getting caught. But Natsume was clever, very clever. He could do, she knew he could.

And if Natsume was with her, not here fighting, trying to protect her, constantly using his Alice, then he would be safe. She could protect him; make sure he didn't use it. He wouldn't have to die. It was the perfect plan. All they needed was the candy.

"Natsume, come on! I have a plan." She grabbed his hand and began to pull him to the door, but he didn't move, stopping her in her tracks.

"What kind of plan?" He asked warily. Mikan explained. At first, Natsume was flabbergasted at the idea, but as she explained it, he could see it coming together in his head. He could see how it would work. And it would work. If only they could find that candy.

Nodding, Natsume grabbed Mikan around the waist, and instead of going through the door, he leapt over the balcony rail with her. He covered her mouth as they fell two stories, so she wouldn't scream. Landing carefully, he held her close for a moment longer to make sure she hadn't fainted and then let her go.

"Sorry, but Sakurano said he was guarding the door. I didn't want to risk him catching us."

Mikan nodded, wide eyed and flushed as her heart slowly went back to a normal speed. Natsume reached out a hand to her. She smiled and slipped her hand into it.

"Let's go find that candy."

* * *

Ah, kids and their hair brained schemes. This would surely make Narumi rip all his hair out. Ah well, what can you say?

Anyway, read and review please!


	3. Consequence

Well, here's the next chapter. I'm plowing through these, making pretty good progress. Hope you all enjoy it.

3/24/2010: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Once more, I have the tragic fate of not owning any of Gakuen Alice.

* * *

"If I remember right, the person who created the Gulliver's candy was a technical Alice in the junior division. If we go to the technical building, we might be able to find something in one of the rooms." Natsume explained in a hushed voice as he led Mikan in that general direction. Mikan simply nodded and ran along with him. A shudder ran through her body as a cold breeze blew right through her thin summer uniform. Natsume looked over his shoulder at her, concerned, but she waved him off, smiling and trying not to let her teeth chatter. They ran through grass and abandoned paths until they neared their destination. The technical building look ominous as it loomed in front of them, a great dark mass against the night sky.

"Usually this place is off limits to the elementary and junior divisions at night, but they leave it open for the high school division to work on larger projects as much as they need too." As he said this, Mikan noticed a light coming from one of the windows on the side of the building. Someone was here. Natsume put a finger to his lips, and then beckoned her to follow him as he climbed in through a window on the first floor that had been left unlocked. Mikan hopped once, twice, three times, before falling on her backside. She frowned up at the window sill. How had Natsume gotten up there so easily? Then again, how was he able to jump out of a second story window and land perfectly fine? He was just special like that. She pouted and glared up at the dark void of the open window, frustrated. Rolling his eyes, Natsume reach out, clasped her hands, and helped pull her into the room. They landed in a heap on the floor as she came through the window and smacked right into him, knocking him over. She pushed herself off him, muttering apologies under her breath. Ignoring her silly apologies, he rose to his feet, dusted himself off, and let his eyes orient to the room. It was even darker inside than out.

The room was filled with all sorts of robotics parts. He heard a sharp intake of breath beside him and spun around just in time to slap his hand over Mikan's mouth before she screamed. Right in front of her hung a disembodied head, eyes wide, starring. She trembled against his hand as she stared at the floating, pale face.

"Silly girl, it's just a robot. Relax."

Natsume moved his hand from her mouth when he felt her calm, and went back to observing the room. However, he gently slide his hand into hers, reassuring her. Mikan blushed lightly at the feel of his hand wrapped comfortably around hers. Shaking her head to get herself to focus, she let her eyes adjust and took in the rest of the room. Nothing about the room seemed to indicate that there might be age changing candy in here. Nevertheless, they perused it, just to be sure.

When Natsume felt certain their desired item were not in this room, he pulled Mikan toward the door. He stood just inside it, listening carefully for any sign of movement on the other side. When he felt certain the coast was clear, he slowly turned the handle and swung the door open. The hall was as empty as he had anticipated it being. Carefully, he guided Mikan across the hall and into a door on the other side. It was a stair well. Leaning over, Natsume whispered into her ear.

"The rooms for technical Alices related to food are on the second floor. That's probably our best bet."

The climbed quietly up the stairs, wincing every time one creaked under their foot. Just as carefully as earlier, Natsume waited inside the door, listening. When things once more proved to be silent, he led Mikan into the hall. Mikan stared down the hall feeling a little overwhelmed. There were so many doors. How long would it take them to figure out which room it was in? Natsume led her through the next door closest to the stair well. This room was full of pots and pans and various other cooking paraphernalia as well as several stoves and ovens of varying sizes. Mikan released Natsume's hand and began to cross the room, intent on reaching the cupboards. She failed to notice a stack of pans on the floor in her path. Seeing the danger, Natsume reacted quickly, grabbing Mikan's arm and pulling her back against his chest.

"Be careful," he hissed. "If you make a racket, we'll get caught and then we'll both be in a world of trouble."

She stared wide-eyed, wondering what she'd done. Sighing, he beckoned to the dark obstacle that she had been just inches from knocking over. He released her as she nodded in understanding. Carefully, she tiptoed across the room and began searching through cupboards. Once certain that she wouldn't get in any more trouble, Natsume turned to search as well. He had relaxed too soon. No sooner had he turned around then he cringed to hear the clattering of pots falling out of a cupboard.

"Kuso!" he cursed under his breath, spinning around and darting across the room. Quickly grabbing Mikan, who was still standing frozen in shock, he shoved them both into a tall nearly empty cupboard. He shut the door just as he heard the door to the room being open. He held his breath as he listened to the whirring gears of the patrol robot looking around the room. He was hyperaware of Mikan's body pressed snuggly against his. In most cases, that would have made him quiet happy, but he was too tense to enjoy the moment. Their close proximity was making Mikan turn redder by the minute, but he was so warm it was actually rather comfortable being this close to him. Unconsciously, she leaned her head forward and rested it on his chest. The presence of her small head nuzzling against him made Natsume's heart skip several beats, but he forced himself to focus on their current situation and the robot searching for them outside the door. They waited, silent, for a good many moments after they heard the robot leave before Natsume pushed to cupboard door open and they pried themselves out. He preempted Mikan's attempt to apologize, putting up a hand, ducking his head to try to hide his bright red checks and heightened breathing.

"Just don't do it again."

Mikan nodded, despite the fact that Natsume had his back to her and couldn't see her response. They finished searching the room and moved to the next. They searched room after room and of course, despite Natsume's admonishment, they had to hide three more times after Mikan had made some ruckus or other. Both their nerves were wearing thin, and Mikan's hope was dwindling as room after room revealed nothing useful. She was about ready to give up, when Natsume opened the door to a room that looked very promising. From wall to wall, the room was full of different types of candy, some in the experiment process and others in their completed forms. As Mikan scanned the labeled jars on the walls, she realized that each one did something different and had the name of a different person as the creator. There was candy to make you shrink or get bigger. There was candy to give a person sweet dreams. Ironically, there was even candy to prevent cavities.

"Mikan! Here!" Natsume called out in a quiet, excited voice. Mikan carefully picked her way over to where he stood looking at a jar. The label on the jar read:

_Gulliver's Candy – Imperfect_

_Dangerous side effects. More testing required._

Excitedly, Mikan pulled down the jar. Reaching her hand in, she pull out a handful of the carefully labeled packets.

"Now, we are gonna need a bunch of the add 10 years ones." She whispered as she tried to squint at them in the darkness, attempting to decipher which candy was which. She looked up, surprised, when a soft, flickering glow lit up the room just a little. Natsume gestured for her to continue as he held a small flame in his hand so that she could see. She frowned momentarily, worried about him using his Alice, but turned back to the task at hand, knowing he wouldn't want her to make a fuss. Sitting on the floor, she poured out the contents of the jar and began picking through the labels. She grinned in success as she held up a handful of eight of the required candies.

"It's a good start, but it's probably not enough." He mused softly, putting out his flame, now that they no longer needed it. "I have one more idea where we might be able to find more."

They piled the extra candy back in the jar, placed it back on the shelf and turned to leave. Gasping softly, they both immediately tensed as they took in the tall silhouette of a figure in the door. Even before the painfully familiar voice filled the room, Natsume knew exactly who it was.

"Such a racket that the pair of you are making. What kind of mischief could you two escapees possibly be about this time of night? I'm certain your benefactors are not aware of your sly plans," Persona sneered at the preteens.

Thinking quickly, Natsume grabbed Mikan around the waist and ran at the window. He shielded her with his body and they flew through the piercing glass shards and slammed into the ground twenty feet below.

"Natsume! Nastume!" Mikan yelled franticly as she scrambled out of his arms. He rolled to his side, violently coughing up blood. Cringing in pain, he forced himself to his feet, nearly falling over from the pain in the process.

"Mikan…we…we have to run." He coughed violently again as he tried to explain, even now encouraging her to move forward. "If he catches us, he…he'll take us straight back to the Elementary School Principal." After struggling to get the words out, it was all he could do to put one foot in front of the other.

Mikan nodded her head in understanding as she stared at him, horrified. He was covered in cuts and bruises were already beginning to form. Her heart ached to see him this way. Quickly, she forced herself to focus and rushed to his side, put his arm over her shoulders, and helped him run. They stumbled a few times, but were making good progress when two other figures loomed before them in the night.

"Obaka-chan," Rui's obnoxious voice called out teasingly. "Where do you think you're going? And with your little girlfriend. It's so cute the way she helps you stay on your feet."

Natsume sneered at the sound and was ready to lunge at the he-she's throat when he felt the returned presence of that person he so despised behind him. Any pity he had felt for the young Serio Rei who had had the world against him was gone the second Natsume had seen that wretched masked face again. He might have been pitiable once, unwitting of his actions, innocent and used, but Persona was an adult now. Regardless of what had happened to him as a child, he had chosen his path, and Natsume felt nothing but despise for him. If that made him coldhearted and uncompassionate, so be it. Without a second thought, he pushed through the intense pain that ripped through his body and forced up a barrier of fire around them. He removed his arm from around Mikan's shoulder and positioned himself in front of her as best he could. Keeping Persona, Rui and Hajime in his line of vision at all times, he stood, tense, ready for the first attack.

"Silly Obaka-chan. Why fight it? You can barely stand on your feet. How long will you be able to hold us at bay?" Rui cooed playfully.

"If you give in, the principal will be merciful." Persona tone was ice. Mikan felt her heart go cold with fear. It was so hard to see that broken child in this calculating and malicious man. "Things will be much easier for your accomplices, who even now are locked up and under careful watch. You'll never get away if you try to run, especially in your current health…" a smile twisted on Persona's lips as Natsume nearly fell to his knees from the strain, as if to prove his point. "And even if by some miracle you should, think of whom the principal's wrath will come down on instead. Isn't it better for all involved if you surrender? The principal can be very kind if you follow his wishes."

"Don't listen to him Mikan. You can't let them take you. Nothing good would come of it," Natsume hissed out through the pain, strengthening his stance and reinforcing the flame wall around them as sweat covered his face. Mikan stood, frozen. She was torn as she watched him suffer, fighting for every second. Persona's words wrapped themselves around her heart. As they did, Hī-sama's words from earlier sprang to her mind, _"you people…the consequences for this rebellion…do you people have enough to pay for it?"_ Could she pay the price? Could she risk the others that way? They were already imprisoned, all her friends, all those who helped her escape. Even if she and Natsume ran now, they wouldn't be spared – rather, the two of them fleeing would probably only increase the other's suffering. But then, she had seen the past, seen what her mother and the other's had been through, seen who the Elementary School Principal was and of what he was capable. It was a no-win situation. She could see no right choice, no choice that wouldn't involve those around her getting hurt, even killed. If not her friends, than surely her mother, her uncle would end up in the crossfire. She knew they'd continue to fight. If she surrendered to the principal, it would only make their situation worse, would only put them in greater danger. While the principal may be merciful to her friends, perhaps even to Natsume, surely he would not let her mother – as well as those other grown-ups that went against him – off so easily. She couldn't move, couldn't act. There had to be some other option. There was always another option. She had always found it before. Why couldn't she see it now?

Eager to break Natsume down, Rui reached out with his Curse Alice, sending it slithering toward the pair. Mikan saw it coming before Natsume did, and seeing him in danger, she snapped out of her freeze, jumping in the path to block it. Her movement distracted Natsume, who turned to stop her, losing his already tenuous hold on his concentration. The flames disappeared and before he could put them back in place, Persona had moved in for the final blow, intent on incapacitating them. Desperate to save him, Mikan pushed Natsume out of the way. In a bright burst of power, her Nullification Alice collided with both Rui's Curse and Persona's Mark of Death. The force of the collision sent all three flying. Natsume barely registered as Persona and Rui flew backwards, landing painfully, Persona on his back and Rui on his side cringing and winded. All the fire-user's attention was on Mikan, whose now limp body flew through the air, until she slammed roughly into the ground, smacking her head against a rock with a load crack. Then she went still…terrifyingly still.

"MIKAN!! Mikan! No, no, oh please no…"

Natsume was on his feet in a second, all his own pain only an afterthought in the back of his mind as he scrambled frantically for the girl, for Mikan, his Mikan, his bright smiling beautiful girl. He reached her in an impossibly short amount of time. As he looked over her he noticed the rapidly growing red stain on the back of her head. Ripping his shirt in desperation, he gently lifted her head and wrapped it, trying to staunch the flow of blood.

"Mikan! Mikan! Mikan, come on! Wake up!" He called anxiously to her, but she did not respond. Placing his head on her chest he realized she wasn't breathing, and even worse than that, her heart had stopped. His body acted of its own accord. His hands quickly placed themselves on her chest, pumping. Occasionally, he bent over to breath into her mouth. _Come on, Mikan. Don't die. Come on. Don't die. You can't leave me, Mikan. You can't. Come back to me. You made me promise I wouldn't leave you, so how can you abandon me now? Come back. This isn't right! This isn't how it's supposed to be._

He was so focused on his task that he was unaware of the calling of several voices as they ran up to him. His mind didn't register that Persona and the two students from the dangerous abilities class had disappeared. Nor did it register Narumi, Ruka, Hotaru, and many of the others, as they rushed to Natsume's side.

"Natsume! Natsume! What happened? Imai! Quickly, help Mikan! She's unconscious!" At Narumi's shouting, Subaru ran towards the limp girl. Carefully, Narumi and Sakurano pulled Natsume off of Mikan so that Subaru could take over tending to her.

Natsume knelt, defeated, in the cold wet grass, barely aware of the activity around him. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He knew the truth. They were all too late. She was dead. He had felt her lifeless body in his arms, under his palms. Mikan, the sunshine that lit up his dark world, was gone, snuffed out forever in a meaningless effort to save him. Meaningless, because, without her, life was empty for him.

As he knelt there, staring at the limp figure held carefully in Subaru's arms, he felt a burning build up in his limbs, spread throughout his body, and fill his mind. His entire body trembled with rage. _How dare they? How dare they take her away?! How dare they hurt her?!_ A red haze settled over his eyes as his mind set on one purpose. One final purpose. He would destroy those bastards.

No one noticed as Natsume rose to his feet. So focused was everyone on the unconscious Mikan, that none were aware as the fire-eyed boy disappeared into the shadows, stalking purposefully towards his goal.

* * *

Kuso – shit

Well, I moved the rating up to teen for Natsume's bad mouth. As much as I don't care for swearing in stories, with certain characters it just can't be avoided. So this chapter was a bit on the dark side. Oh well, bear with me. Sooner or later, things should start looking up for them…hopefully. As always, R&R.


	4. Inferno

Well, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

3/24/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

* * *

Natsume walked purposefully toward the building that housed his victims. He knew exactly where Persona would be – kowtowing to that despicable man, Principal Kuonji. Natsume wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The bitter chill of night around him didn't touch him as he approached the great looming structure of the Elementary School Building. The responding bang of doors slamming open rang through the hall as he welcomed himself in. It was only seconds before the Fuukitai came running.

Most of the Fuukitai, arguably the smarter ones, got one good look at the fire wielder's face and thought better of confronting him. His expression was black, murderous, enough to send even adults cowering. The rest of the Fuukitai, the stupid ones, yelled at him to stop, running forward to restrain him. Those that tried immediately began screaming as their clothes caught fire. None hindered him.

He continued his way up the stairs and down the hall, his mind focused on one thing only. When he saw the door he had run through just the day before, he felt a thrill of anticipation rush through him, as dark as the rage in his heart. Once more, he slammed the doors open.

They stood together on the far side of the room, looking in his direction. Their expressions were expectant. They had anticipated him. He smirked. They had no idea what he had planned for them, or they would have run. All the better for him that they were arrogant pigs.

"Ah, Natsume. Nice of you to join us." The principal sneered at the furious boy. "Such a pity about your little heartthrob." Here, he had the audacity to shoot a furious glare at Persona. As if he truly cared what happened Mikan. Natsume felt himself on the brink of losing control as his wrath burned hotter than ever. Persona bowed his head in apology, though his expression was guarded, unreadable. What a farce of an apology: apologizing for destroying the principal's goods, not snuffing out a human life.

"It really is such a shame. I had such plans for young Mikan."

"Don't!" Natsume shouted, boiling. "Don't you dare say her name! Don't you contaminate it with your vile mouth!"

The principal started to respond, but thought better about it. Something about Natsume's dark expression screamed _Danger!_ The principal looked warily at the boy as it occurred to him that perhaps he had underestimated this calculating child. Persona's expression deepened into a frown as he analyzed the boy.

Natsume laughed bitterly, wildly, as he watched the change in their countenance. They were getting it, were they? That these were their final moments? He was not like the others that had confronted the principal. Unlike Yukihara Izumi, Yuka, and his dear Mikan, he had no qualms about snuffing out this black-hearted murderer and his deadly marionette right where they stood. He knew Mikan would disapprove, kindhearted angel that she was. But she was not here to restrain his hand, not anymore. No, this monster and his evil puppeteer had seen to that. A mistake they would not have long to regret, unfortunately.

He had had enough of this idle chatter. It was time to end this. He was very familiar with the layout of this building and was quite satisfied to know that there just so happened to be a staff kitchen on the floor just below. And in the wall of the kitchen, was a tank of gas to supply the stove. It would be the perfect place to start. Focusing all his power, he looked up and smiled in a way bordering on insanity.

"Shine."

The superheated tank exploded, rocking the building. Parts of the walls and floor blasted away, revealing the night beyond, while others continued to crumble and break apart. Natsume stood firm as the room rocked and shook and had the brief satisfaction of catching the panicked, horrified looks of his victims before he fueled the flames so much that they blocked his vision. He could feel his Alice tearing him apart, destroying him from the inside. He kept pushing, fueling the flames, forcing more power into the raging inferno. He couldn't feel the heat of the flames, but the pain inside his body burned excruciatingly.

He screamed in agony and heartbreak, a heart wrenching sound, releasing a final burst of power, before he gave into the blackness that welcomed him. As it consumed his mind, he smiled gently. He would join her soon. His Mikan.

Across the school, the explosion shook those sleeping and awake. Students and teachers alike sprang from their beds as sirens rang through the crisp night air. Smoke billowed up from the Elementary School Building, blotting out the moon and stars that the two children had gazed at in silent companionship only hours before.

* * *

Shine – no, this is not an English word. It is Japanese for "die"

So yeah, this chapter was a bit shorter, but that's ok. I mean, how long do you need a seriously depressing chapter to be. A scary Natsume. I love it when he looks really angry in the manga. It's rather intimidating. Lol. Anyway, enough of me talking. R&R onegai!


	5. Second Chance

Ah! I love metal rock concerts! Woot! Just got back from seeing a friend's band perform. They were awesome. I think they have a myspace page, so if you like rock/metal, check out MetalGrid. Anyway…This is my longest chapter so far. Hope you like it.

3/24/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: History repeats itself. Just like the last four chapters, Gakuen Alice is still not mine.

* * *

_Natsume. Natsume._ Her voice, calling his name, brought him out of the black oblivion to which he'd surrendered himself to escape the pain. _Mikan? Has she come for me? Come to take me with her?_ The pain was intense. He wanted so much to be free from it once and for all. The emotional pain was worse. The image of her limp and bleeding was branded into his mind. How dearly he wanted to see her healthy and smiling again. If he followed her voice, her sweet angelic voice, then surely he'd find the peace he was looking for. And so he did follow it.

To his surprise and confusion, the closer he got to the voice, the more intense the pain grew. Rather than sinking into painless nothingness, he seemed to be pulling himself out of the comforting blackness. Yet still, he followed it. The pain was screaming in his limbs, and his chest felt like there was a boulder set on top of it. He could barely breathe. Still, he pushed forward. _Natsume. Natsume._ Still she called to him. Her voice sounded so pained, choked, like she was crying. _Mikan…I'm coming, Mikan. Don't cry, Mikan._

"Natsume. Please wake up. Please, Natsume."

In a last burst of energy, he pushed through another wave of pain. Her voice sounded so close now, like she was right next to him. Like if he reached out, he could touch her. And so he reached for the voice. At first, he couldn't even find his right arm in all the pain, but then slowly, bit by bit, he forced it to move: a twitch at first, and then his hand crept achingly across the bedspread. Wait…bedspread? Where was he? He turned his focus back to the most important thing. Her voice. Her beautiful, crying voice.

He nearly jumped in surprise when his fingers found soft, warm skin. Warm delight flowed from his fingertips to his heart in a way that so starkly contrasted the burning pain throughout the rest of his body.

"Natsume? Natsume, are you awake? Can you hear me?"

Her voice sounded hopeful and pleading. How he wanted to reassure her, comfort her. He fought again, this time with his eyelids, as he forced them to respond, to open and reveal the beautiful face he was now sure would be in front of him. As he forced his eyes open, harsh fluorescent light struck them, causing him to wince and close them. After a couple more attempts and a series of rapid blinking, he finally got them to stay open.

At first, everything in front of him was a blur, and he couldn't focus his mind on any one image, but as he adjusted to seeing again, that wondrous sight came into focus. Her head was only inches away from his, her soft hair falling gently around her face. A bandage was wrapped neatly around her head. Her eyes watched him, wide and concerned, and he could see tears still there. As he studied her, her facial expression changed to a radiant smile that stopped his heart before setting it beating painfully again in his chest. He reached his hand up slowly, carefully, and gently touched her face. If it was possible, her smile grew even brighter.

"Oh, Natsume! I'm so glad you're awake. I was so worried. Everyone's been really worried. They said you would probably pull through after you survived that first week, but still, they couldn't be sure. You were so hurt, so badly hurt. What were you thinking?" Though it was meant to be berating, instead it sounded like a caress. She was so glad to see those crimson eyes looking at her again.

"How?" he forced painfully out of his tight throat. It sounded choked and harsh, more of a cough than a question. Nonetheless, she heard it. As he waited for her response, it finally registered in his mind just where they were. This was the hospital. Of course.

"How are you alive? Or how am I alive?" She asked quietly, before continuing to answer both questions. "I'm alive, I guess, mostly thanks to you and Imai-senpai. They said you saved my life. If you hadn't acted so fast and did that CPR thing, they said they probably wouldn't have been able to revive me. After that, I guess it was mostly Imai-senpai's amazing healing power. I'm very lucky, I guess. Sakurano-senpai said that it's amazing that I came out of it without any permanent brain damage or memory loss."

Natsume was tempted to respond that she already had permanent brain damage, but speaking was too painful, and he was too grateful that she was alive.

"For a while, they thought I might not come out of the coma, but I was only out for two weeks. You've been out for three. They found you underneath a pile of rubble. Narumi-sensai said that you fell through the floor to the floor below or something like that. That's how you broke your arm and got that head injury."

Natsume hadn't even been aware of either injury until she mentioned them, at which point he became aware of a sling and cast on his left arm and a bandage wrapped around his head as well. The pain was too all consuming for him to identify any one type. It was of little importance; one injury was much the same as another when you were as badly damaged as he was.

This was one of those rare occasions when he was grateful for her rambling. Her voice was soothing, a balm to his heart and body, and it was a relief to learn everything without having to ask a bunch of questions.

"Imai-senpai said he wasn't going to worry about fixing your arm right away because the internal damage was more critical. Poor senpai must be so tired. He's been in and out of here constantly trying to heal us as much as possible."

She fell quiet for a moment, and her face looked pensive and concerned, before she seemed to decide on something and continued.

"A few people, mostly members of the Fuukitai, suffered some light burns. But everyone else was pretty much okay besides that. Nobody died."

Again she fell silent as Natsume digested this bit of information. Nobody died? So that scheming principal and that monster of a man had escaped somehow? Oh well. Mikan was alive. That's what mattered. Mikan continued after a moment, trying to talk on a lighter note now.

"I guess you did quite a number on the school building. Narumi-sensei said they had to hold class outside because the building is too dangerous until the repairs are finished. It's suppose to be really good weather right now though, so that's lucky. I bet it's fun having class outside."

Just like Mikan to find the bright side in everything. He wondered briefly what sort of punishment would be coming his way. It was bound to be awful. He imagined the elementary school principal was in the mood for vengeance. He wondered briefly what would happen to Mikan once they were out of the hospital, but that wasn't something he wanted to dwell on at the moment.

Mikan had been watching him quietly from where she lay beside him. He noticed her yawn and found himself yawning too. Her eyes were drifting closed, and he decided he agreed with her. They both needed more sleep. Before he drifted off, he mumbled one last thing.

"Mikan…"

"Hmm?" she replied sleepily, her eyelids fluttering as she tried to keep them open.

"Arigatou. For not leaving me…"

She understood what he meant: thank you for not dying, for not abandoning him to a painful, meaningless life without her.

"I'll be here when you wake up." She smiled gently, before her eyes drifted closed. Shortly thereafter, they were both sound asleep holding each other's hand between them.

When Natsume blinked awake again, some indefinite amount of time later, he was immediately aware of the absence of his favorite ball of sunshine. _Stupid teachers must have taken her back to her room._ His brows furrowed as he frowned, an act he found surprisingly painful for how minute it was. Irritated, he struggled to sit up. After his head stopped spinning, he took in his surroundings. It was a typical hospital room. He was hooked up to an I.V. and had a breathing mask covering his mouth.

First, he yanked the breathing mask off his face. As his body took in the sudden change in air quality, his lungs protested in a painful fit of spasming coughs. Once he could breathe semi-normally again, he wiped the blood he'd coughed into his hand on the sheet and turned to the next item. Concentrating, he ripped the I.V. out of his arm. Compared to the pain throughout his body, this was hardly worth noting. Finally, he turned to the business of standing up. Swinging his legs carefully over the side of the bed, he slid off to his feet. Bad plan. The mind-numbing pain that racked him was intense, and his legs buckled. If he hadn't clutched tightly to the side of the bed, he would have found himself sprawled on the floor. Clenching his teeth, he held his position. Eventually the pain subsided enough that he could let go off the bed without collapsing.

Grabbing the I.V. stand for support, he hobbled slowly, excruciatingly, to the door and opened it. Abandoning the pole there, he leaned against the wall as he continued down the hall. He approached the corner and stopped when he heard voices speaking quietly. JinJin and that gay retarded homeroom teacher were talking about something in concerned voices. He listened carefully to the conversation around the corner.

"It's very strange how unresponsive the principal is being. I had expected the Fuukitai to be rounding up every one of these kids' friends to deal out all sorts of punishment. That he hasn't retaliated at all is very disconcerting."

Jinno's voice sounded disturbed. Narumi's response was not much better.

"Yes, his lack of action makes me believe he's plotting something. I'm very concerned for both Mikan and Natsume-kun. Principal Kuonji is no fool. If he is failing to 'rein in' these children, there must be a reason for it. I only hope we can understand his scheme in time to preempt him."

Due to the pause and lack of response, Natsume assumed that JinJin had replied with a nod.

"Well, I have to go teach. Controlling these kids when they're outdoors is a nightmare. I have a hard enough time getting them to focus on math when there isn't every insect and leaf to distract them."

Narumi chuckled at Jinno's irritation. Natsume heard footsteps retreating down the hall and assumed that JinJin had made his exit. Taking a deep breath, he continued his trek around the corner. Sure enough, only Narumi was still there, leaning against the wall outside a room that Natsume could only assume was Mikan's.

Narumi looked up in surprise as he heard footsteps and labored breathing coming slowly down the hall. When he saw Natsume heaving his way towards him, his eyes widened even more, and he pushed himself off the wall to approach the child.

"Natsume-kun, you really shouldn't be out of bed. I'm surprised you can even stand. Really, you must go back."

The dark scowl Natsume shot Narumi silenced him, but he still watched the boy in concern. He wasn't foolish enough to reach out and help him. Natsume would probably fry him on the spot if he tried, and he didn't feel like upsetting the boy further by using his Pheromone Alice to subdue him. Natsume reached the door, and Narumi made one last feeble attempt to stop him.

"She's sleeping." He pointed out, hoping that Natsume would decide not to disturb her and go back to bed. No such luck.

"Your point?" Natsume replied coldly as he continued into the room. Sure enough, there she was, sleeping soundly, tucked carefully under the covers of the hospital bed. Natsume made his way carefully toward her and climbed cautiously onto the bed to join her. His entire body roared with pain by the time he lay down next to her, all of his energy completely spent. As he let himself drift back to sleep, finding her hand and clasping it once more, he heard her mumble softly.

"Na…tsu…me…" Smiling gently, he fell back into peaceful, healing slumber.

"You might as well just set the room up for both of them." Sakurano said, smiling as he joined Narumi by the door. Narumi turned from watching the two to glance at the former student council president.

"Perhaps. I suppose if we keep carrying them back to their own bed, they'll just keep getting up and going back to the other's room." Sakurano nodded in agreement.

"So, what's the news?" Narumi asked, lowering his voice in case the children were still awake. Sakurano followed suit, lowering his voice as he replied.

"Imai Hotaru is to leave at the end of next week. She has already been informed of this."

Narumi nodded sadly.

"Proof that the elementary school principal isn't being completely hands off."

Sakurano watched the sleeping pair thoughtfully for a moment, before speaking.

"In truth, this is an excellent opportunity for Imai. She'll get to greatly further her study. If it wasn't such a blatant attempt to separate the two and alienate Mikan-chan, I would be very supportive of this. As it is, I just hope they'll manage the blow."

"It's fortunate that Mikan and Natsume-kun have bonded so much. I don't know how she would make it through this without him."

Both teacher and student fell silent as they watched the oblivious sleepers, the ominous future heavy on both their minds.

* * *

Arigatou – thank you

So here's the next chapter. A little happier, ne? R&R, onegai!


	6. Goodbye

Next chappie! I'm on a roll. I'm so proud of myself for updating so regularly like this. So yeah, I wanna give a shout out to my most loyal fans. I am super appreciative of your reviews every chapter. They keep me going. So thank you to:

o0fuYuHAnAsHIrAZuKI0o – where'd you come up with that name?

Devil Diaries

You guys are my own personal heroes! _

03/24/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: I'm trying to think of a plan to make Gakuen Alice mine, but I haven't succeeded yet…

* * *

Mikan and Natsume followed Narumi towards the drive in front of the school headquarters. As they approached, the group of their classmates near a limo came into view. Moments later, they could make out the center of all the attention.

Hotaru stiffened and reflexively reach for her Baka Gun as she sensed the presence of idiocy approaching. However, with great effort on her part, she refrained. Moments later came the call.

"!"

Mikan ran across the drive and flew towards her best friend, slamming into her with a forceful hug. Hotaru lightly patted her back as Mikan clung to her, already crying. A few feet away, Permy, Koko, and Kitsuneme looked on in amazement.

"Wow…I can't believe Hotaru hasn't beat Mikan to a pulp yet." Permy watched the pair in disbelief.

"That's because Mikan has already had a really bad head injury recently. She doesn't want to hurt her any more than she already is." Koko responded matter-of-factly, reading Hotaru's mind. Kitsuneme snickered.

"Yeah, if she gave her another head injury, the brain damage might be permanent."

Natsume and Narumi finally caught up with the others. Natsume walked towards the pair and stood a few feet away from them, next to Ruka. An awkward silence dragged on between the pair, but neither knew how to break it. Narumi joined Misaki-sensei, looking on at their students with somber expressions.

Mikan cried and cried for a good few minutes before Hotaru had had enough. Pushing her back, she looked at her best friend's tear streaked face.

"So ugly. Remember, I told you to smile."

Mikan nodded her head, sniffling and trying to force a smile on her face. Hotaru reached into her bag and pulled something out.

"Mikan, hold out your hand."

Mikan looked at her quizzically, but obeyed. Hotaru set the object in Mikan's hand. Mikan looked at it curiously. It had a pig face, with a speaker where the mouth was, then it curved down to another speaker, like a phone. The bottom speaker had a pigtail coming out the back.

"This is the HAM (Hotaru and Mikan) caller. If you pull the pig's tail, it will call mine and vice versa."

A real smile came on Mikan's face as she looked at the present in excited surprise.

"Oh! Thank you, Hotaru! I knew you cared!" She made to glomp Hotaru again, but Hotaru held out a hand, hitting Mikan in the forehead and stopping her.

"Only call me when necessary. Usually I'll be very busy with experiments and projects. I don't need you distracting me with every little crisis in your life."

Mikan nodded in agreement, her smile not lessened by Hotaru's rules. That Hotaru had even given her such a thing was proof that she cared. Hotaru beckoned Mikan forward for one last hug, before stepping away.

As Mikan backed off a bit, Subaru approached his little sister. Looking down at her, he shifted uncomfortably before speaking, resting his hand lightly on the top of her head.

"Have a safe trip and be careful. We'll bring you back as soon as we can." He turned to look at Sakurano for conformation, to which Sakurano nodded his head in agreement. Turning back to his sister, he contemplated for a moment before wrapping both of his arms around her in a hug. Quietly he added, "I'll miss you, imoto. I'll try to be a better brother when you get back."

Hotaru stood awkwardly in her brother's embrace for a few minutes before he pulled away. She was about to turn and get in the limo that would be driving her to the airport, when she felt the winds of idiocy speeding her way.

"Cool Blue Sky!!"

BAKAN!!

Hayate impacted with the shot midflight and was sent flying head over heels backward till he hit the ground with a painful thwack. Natsume raised an eyebrow at the scene. What was with Hayate lately? He was acting so different from usual.

"Ignore this fellow," Hotaru said coldly. "Let's go," she addressed her escorts as she turned toward the vehicle.

"But…But!" Hayate stuttered as he scrambled to his feet. Hotaru followed her own advice, ignoring him with great efficiency.

"I'll be waiting for you! Be careful, Cool Blue Sky! Come back soon!" Everyone else stared at him in disbelief and confusion, some even with pity at his hopeless cause, but Hotaru continued to pretend he wasn't there. She turned to Mikan once more.

"Goodbye. And don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."

Mikan nodded, offering Hotaru a last watery-eyed smile. Natsume walked over to Mikan and grabbed her hand tightly in his as Hotaru climbed into the car. Ruka looked at Mikan longingly. He wanted to comfort her, but… He glanced over at his best friend. Natsume's eyes met his briefly. Natsume gave a quick jerk of his head, signifying that it was ok, before turning his eyes back to the limo. Ruka took a step forward, toward Mikan, and grabbed her other hand. The three stood there, silently, as the door closed, and the long car began to drive down towards the exit.

It wasn't until the door had closed – concealing Hotaru safely behind tinted glass from the eyes of the others – that she allowed the tears she'd been fighting to roll down her cheeks. She watched Mikan out the window as the car started forward. _It's good that she has Ruka and Natsume. She shouldn't be too lonely. She should be okay._ As the vehicle pulled through the gate and rounded the corner, blocking the three from her sight, she sighed heavily, wearily. _But will I be ok without her?_

As the others from their class began to leave, Mikan and her two supporters watch as the limo left the campus, the gate closing behind it. They stood there until the vehicle was completely out of sight. Even after it had been gone for a while, they still remained, tears trailing down Mikan's face, her smile falling now that there was no one to hold it for.

After a while, she calmed down, sniffling, and swiped the tears out of her eyes. As they turned to leave, they noticed Sakurano, Narumi, and Subaru were still there.

"I know this isn't the best time, but it can't wait any longer." Narumi started off gently. "The high school principal would like us to reconvene tonight to make the decision that has been delayed for the last five weeks."

Mikan knew this would be coming sooner or later. Natsume shot her a concerned look, but Mikan simply gestured that she understood.

"Do you still have that stone I gave you?" Sakurano asked softly. When Mikan confirmed that she did, he continued. "Use that to transport yourself, Ruka-kun and Natsume-kun to the principal's office in two hours, ok?"

With the plans laid out, Narumi escorted Mikan, Natsume, and Ruka back to the dorms to wait until it was time to meet.

As Mikan entered her room, she noticed something on the desk. Walking towards it, she noticed it was a small bag and a note. Picking up the bag first, she looked inside to discover it was full of Alice stones. Surprised, she reached for the note.

_Dear Mikan,_

_Please forgive me for involving you into dangerous matters such as this. I heard from Naru about Mikan's Stealing Alice. If Mikan also has the paired Alice of Stealing which is Insertion, I hope that with that power these stones could be of use to you for whatever is to come. No matter what you decide, I want you to know that I love you very much. I was terrified when I thought you might not come out of the coma. Please know that I have always had your safety and happiness first in my heart. Whatever path you may take, I hope these Alice stones can help you. Your Alices don't have to be a curse._

_Your mother,_

_Yuka_

* * *

Imoto – little sister

So some of you may have noticed the bag of stones and the note are both taken from chapter 125. Parts of the note are verbatim and parts are changed for the sake of my story. In case anyone was wondering.

So, that's the next chapter. Hoped you all liked it. Sorry Hotaru fans, but don't worry, I'll bring her back eventually.


	7. Deja Vu

Ok, guys, here's the next chapter. This one might be a bit boring for you all, but it's important stuff. I apologize if it's too slow. Don't worry, things will get more interesting. Anyway, read on my faithfuls!

3/24/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Gah! My brain is not creative enough to figure out how to make Gakuen Alice mine! Fail!

* * *

Natsume coughed harshly into his hand, spitting up blood. Groaning, he leaned back against the wall of his bedroom. He wasn't supposed to be released yet, but when Mikan had been released from the hospital, he released himself as well. There was no point in staying if she wasn't there. Besides, pain had been his constant state of being for ages now.

After that night he had almost literally dragged himself to her room, the adults had finally given up trying to separate them and had set up Mikan's room for them both. Natsume suspected they found this arrangement suitable anyway. He hadn't failed to notice that he and Mikan were under constant surveillance. The entire time that they'd been in the hospital either Narumi, Nodacchi, Sakurano, or Subaru had been watching over them. Even now, while they waited in the dorms before they would meet up once more with the high school principal, Narumi was in the building watching. He suspected the others were not far off either.

It was getting dark, so Natsume stood, washed his bloodied hands off in the bathroom, and headed towards Mikan's room. He was joined by Ruka at the door. Neither of them said anything as Natsume knocked, and Mikan told them to come in. He noticed her shove something into her pocket as they entered but she said nothing about it, so neither did he. Natsume grabbed Mikan's hand and Ruka set his on her shoulder as she concentrated on the stone once again glowing in her palm. Sakurano's Alice stone responded, transporting them once more to Principal Yukihara Kazu's office.

As they appeared in the room, Mikan noticed the Sakurano-senpai, Imai-senpai, Jinno-sensei, and her mother, Azumi Yuka, were also here. As she looked at her mother, her thoughts went to the bag in her pocket. Unsure what to say, she averted her gaze. Moments later, Noddachi, with Narumi, appeared in the room as well. Principal Yukihara nodded his head as he confirmed that everyone was present.

"Alright. Now, we have a decision that needs to be made, that has been delayed for too long."

Mikan shuffled uncomfortably where she stood. No one had talked about what had happened with her and Natsume that night. No one had asked why they were out in the middle of campus, so far away from this building where she was supposed to be. And even now, no mention was made of it. Of course, it probably hadn't taken them much stretch of the imagination to guess, what with the +10 years candy that had been scattered around the area where they'd been discovered.

"Please, take a seat. There is much to be discussed." Numerous chairs had been set up in the room, and everyone found one as the principal sat behind his desk. The air was so tense you could cut it with a knife. Mikan could feel Yuka's eyes on her, watching her. Narumi kept glancing over at Yuka, unsure how to act. No one seemed to know what to say.

Shifting uncomfortably once more, Mikan was suddenly very aware of the uncomfortable pressure of her bladder. Eager to have a few minutes to gather herself, she raised her hand, getting everyone's attention. Meekly, embarrassed, she explained herself.

"Erm…can I have a few moments? I need to use the restroom."

The principal looked at her in surprise for a moment, before nodding.

"Of course, but come back quickly. The bathroom is down the hall two doors, on the left."

Mikan nodded her head in understanding and bolted out of the room. Natsume watched her leave, concern etched on his face.

Mikan sniffled as she washed her hands in the sink. She was so confused. Obviously, she had made the wrong decision last time, but what was the right decision. Would they even give her a choice this time after she had fumbled everything so badly before? She was grateful the other students had been found and released after Natsume tried to blow up the Elementary School Building, but just because the Elementary School Principal hadn't chosen to round them up again yet didn't mean that he wouldn't. The entire school had been tense these last few weeks, as though hanging on a precipice. Tonight's decision could be pivotal and life changing for so many. So what was right?

As Mikan slowly made her way back down the hall to the office, dragging her feet, she was suddenly aware that she felt vastly older than she had even a few months before. She shivered as a cold breeze wrapped around her. Looking in the direction of the draft, she noticed an open door to her right. It was the same room she had stayed in with the others last time, with Hotaru, who was gone now. _I bet Hotaru would have known what to do. I didn't even talk to her about it last time. I wonder if I hurt her feelings…_

Keen on delaying her return to where the others were, Mikan made her way across the room, to the sliding glass door that had been left slightly ajar. She stepped out onto the balcony, closing it behind her. Shivering slightly at the brisk breeze that cooled the summer night, she wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the balcony rail, looking out over the campus. The moon wasn't as bright tonight as it had been that night that she had stood here with Natsume five weeks ago, but it was still beautiful.

Sighing, she had a strange feeling of déjà vu as she tried to gather her thoughts. Wondering if she had hurt Hotaru's feelings made her consider who else she might have hurt with her rash actions that night. Both Narumi-sensei and her mother had wanted her to run away with them. She wondered how upset they had been when they realized she'd run off. Unconsciously, her hand slipped into her pocket and started fiddling with the stones from her mother. She felt a sharp ache in her heart at the idea that she could have made Narumi-sensei feel betrayed. She understood now, after those flashbacks, that he probably saw her much as his own daughter, a thought that both warmed and saddened her.

Ruka too. She hadn't talked to him nearly at all since then. He had always been there for her, yet she hadn't confided in him at that critical moment. She hadn't even told him yet that she had picked Natsume. She knew that he was already aware of her feelings, but still, it was only right to tell him straight out and make everything clear. She hated to hurt him that way, but he had a right to hear it from her.

Everyone was working so hard together on this. Even Jinno-sensei was fighting the elementary principal. It was amazing that they had even given her the choice on how to handle this in the first place. And yet she'd handled in so thoughtlessly, so irresponsibly.

Because she was afraid, then and now. Afraid of Natsume dying, afraid of her friends getting caught up in everything and getting hurt. She wanted to protect everyone, but how? She had overestimated herself last time, had thought the elementary school principal wouldn't be able to catch them, but they never even made it off the campus. And her stupid decision hadn't helped Natsume at all. Instead, he almost killed himself with his Alice.

She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she felt all of the weight of the disastrous and ill planed decision that she had made. And now they had come full circle. It was time to make a decision again, and once more, she had no idea what to do. Nothing seemed like the perfect decision. No option seemed to keep her friends, Natsume, and the others safe.

Mikan was so wrapped up in her confusion, it took her a moment to notice the strange swoosh of air behind her. Before she could react, a cloth was place firmly against her mouth and her body was grabbed tightly in someone's arm. She tried to scream, tried to fight, but it was no use. When she inhaled deeply, hoping to get enough air to make herself heard, she smelled something strange. Everything in front of her began to spin and go out of focus. As she blacked out, her mind called out to the red-eyed boy that she'd grown to care so much for. _Natsume…help…_

* * *

Ok, so there's the next chappie. Lotsa fun, eh? As usual, R&R.


	8. Gone

Sorry guys, another short chapter. I swear the chapter tomorrow will be longer. Well, hope you like it.

03/25/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

* * *

It had been three months. Three months without a sign of her. Three months without as much as a lead. The cultural festival had come and gone, and summer had turned to fall, yet still, she was nowhere to be found. Natsume made his way back onto the schools grounds, exhausted, angry, and feeling lost. He knew, of course, why it had been so easy for him to sneak off the campus for these last three months. Usually, unless he was on a mission, he would have had to fight to get a glimpse of the outside, but these last three months, it had been a simple matter for him to get out. Understanding the reason just made his blood boil. The elementary school principal was taunting him, confident in the fact that Natsume would never be able to find Mikan.

As he made his way back to the dorms, feeling defeated and alone, he couldn't help but recall that awful night. They had all waited so long for her to come back. Finally, Natsume volunteered to go check on her. He fully expected to find her crying in the bathroom. He had knocked numerous times, without an answer, so he had let himself in, assuming she was too upset to respond. He had half expected her to start yelling at him for coming into the girls' bathroom.

But she wasn't there. He began searching the other rooms, sure she was delaying her return, unsure how to deal with the decisions that had to be made. But there was no sign of her anywhere. At this point, panic had begun to set in. He reassured himself, calmed himself, saying surely she had returned to the office with the others while he had been looking for her. He nearly darted back to the room. But when he opened the door to rejoin the others, his heart sank, grew cold, as he realized she was still not there.

That was when he had told the others that she was missing. They had quickly begun a search for her, looking everywhere. Natsume wondered if she had tried to run away on her own, and the thought terrified him. Worse than that, the possibility that she had been captured snuck into his mind. But he didn't want to believe that. She had to be somewhere. She would just reappear and apologize for worrying everyone.

They may never have found out what happened to Mikan if it hadn't been for Ruka's Alice. An owl that had been sitting in a tree a ways off said that he had seen Mikan standing out on the balcony. Then he saw someone else appear on the balcony and grab her. At that point, the owl had noticed dinner scurrying by on the ground below and had seen nothing else.

As the story was revealed, Natsume's heart had clenched in dread. The exact thing that he had most feared happening to her, had happened. Exactly what they had all been trying to prevent had come about, and right under their noses at that. And he was too late to save her.

Everyone had been searching for her franticly since then. But they didn't even have the faintest clue where to look. Trying to find her was like searching for a needle in a haystack, and Natsume felt as though he'd done almost nothing but mindless wandering trying to find her.

Things had been strange since her disappearance. Natsume had not been given a single mission since then. In fact, the entire dangerous abilities class had been practically inactive, though he had noticed, with a sinking feeling, that Rui was frequently absent and no one had actually seen the Elementary School Principal since her disappearance. He was missing even at the Cultural Festival. No one wanted to speculate why, though they all suspected the truth inside. Nobara and Hayate had also seen no repercussions for their actions in assisting Mikan and Hotaru. But the most telling event had come about one month after Mikan's disappearance. Youichi – who had been reinstated into the dangerous abilities class after Natsume's foolhardy attempt to blow up the school building – and Tsubasa had been transferred out of the dangerous abilities class back to the latent and special abilities classes respectively. Natsume and the others had understood why with dreadful clarity. Whatever Principal Kuonji wanted from Mikan, he was getting.

Natsume made it back into his room and collapsed on the bed, broken and weary. He was horrified to think what they might be doing to her. He understood them and the way their twisted minds worked far too well. Would he ever see her again? He was quite certain she was still alive. She was too valuable to them for them to kill her. But what were they doing to her? How was she withstanding it?

He curled up in a ball on his bed, coughing violently into his hand. His entire body hurt; he felt exhausted to his very core.

"Mikan…Mikan…oh Mikan, I'm so sorry. Please be alright. Please come back to me."

He called out to her, looking out the window from his bed, wondering if she knew he was looking for her, if she knew he was worried about her. Slowly, his eyes drifted closed, and he sunk into a restless sleep, full of nightmares. In his mind, in his dreams, he kept seeing her, calling out to him, begging him to save her, yet he could never reach her. _Mikan, where are you?_

Across the campus, Principal Yukihara sat at his desk, his hands in his head. His heart felt so heavy. _Why do I always fail to protect those close to me? Why can't I even keep my own flesh and blood safe? Oh, Izumi, forgive me. If nothing else, I wanted to keep _her_ away from this, since I couldn't save _you_. That girl, who is so much like you…I wanted to make sure that she never fell to your fate. But what can I do now, brother? Why are children fighting my…our battles? They consider me like a god on this campus, yet I feel more powerless than a child. I _am_ more powerless than a child._

Yuka sat near Hī-sama in the Hanahime Den, while Shiki leaned against the wall a few feet away. She was such a failure as a mother. She had abandoned her child as an infant to protect her from the same fate she'd had, yet despite that, Mikan was now soundly in the elementary school principal's clutches. She felt nauseous, thinking of that foul man's hands on her daughter. Perhaps she had been too merciful before. Maybe she should have ended it then, when she had the chance. Principal Kuonji's conspicuous absence only confirmed what they all dreaded. And now he would be more cautious than ever. How would they ever have such an opportunity again? Narumi had told her to have faith in Mikan. That she'd find something to do, that she'd be strong, that she wouldn't break as Yuka and he both almost had. But she was too aware of the reality to have much hope.

Not far away, in the Middle School Dorms, Tsubasa lay awake in his bed staring at the ceiling. He loathed himself, his very existence, since he'd been transferred back to the special abilities class. That he was used as leverage against Mikan made his blood boil. At first, he had wanted nothing more than to tear into Principal Kuonji's office and raise all hell, but Misaki and Tono both had held him back, quite literally, until he'd seen reason. If she had sacrificed for his freedom, then he would have to use it to the best of his abilities to find a way to restore hers. These last couple months he had searched high and low for a way to bring down the Elementary School Principal and his clones once and for all. He had to be stealthy, so as not to raise suspicion, which slowed his progress. But little by little he looked, and documented anything that could be even the slightest hint. His teacher's would surely say if he ever put so much effort into his grades he'd be one of the top students in his class. Regardless, he felt like he had accomplished nothing. _Useless and a burden. That's what you are. I wonder if this is something like what Bear feels like…like his very existence sucks the life from who he cares about…_

On this bleak night, a young girl with empty eyes and a seemingly insurmountable goal, returned to the school she had called home for the last year. Self-consciously, she reached up and pulled her sleeve down to hide the mark there. Steeling herself for the days ahead, she walked away from the three men she felt certain would never leave her nightmares, and made her way towards her new room.

* * *

KK, there it is. R&R.


	9. Dangerous

So here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

03/25/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Not mine

* * *

Hotaru stared forlornly at the HAM caller. She had been here at this new place for three months now. She had half expected to receive a frantic call from Mikan before she had even settled into her room. But Mikan hadn't call. She hadn't called once in three months.

Hotaru had given her those rules of course, about not calling her over every little thing, but she hadn't actually expected Mikan to follow them. It was so unlike Mikan not to contact her even once. But then, Mikan hadn't confided in her about her and Natsume's scheme to run away. Perhaps the news that Hotaru would be leaving had been too much for her. Perhaps she was trying to distance herself so it wouldn't hurt so badly.

Hotaru sighed, picking up the gadget she'd been fiddling with and turning it over absentmindedly in her hand. _More likely she's lost it already._ As irritating as that thought was, it was also comforting. Hotaru's eyes travelled around her room. It was full of half finished projects. She hadn't been able to complete a single thing since she'd come here. She just had no inspiration for what to make. Nothing seemed worthwhile. Setting the gadget in her hand back down, she lay her head on the desk and stared at the HAM caller. _What are you doing now, Mikan?_

Natsume sat in his normal seat in the back of the classroom, feet on the desk, manga on his face, as the class waited for their math lesson with Jinno-sensei. To all appearances, he looked normal, calm. He was anything but. In his mind, he kept searching through everything he knew, looking for some missing clue, something that would help him find her. But he kept coming up empty handed. Ruka sat in silence beside him, absently petting Usagi. It was disturbing that not a single animal, not even a mouse, had seen where they'd taken Mikan. He'd asked every critter on the campus, and even had those animals communicating with animals outside the campus, but still there was no news.

Natsume heard the back door to the classroom open, but ignored it, assuming one of his classmates was going to the bathroom or some such thing. So it was Ruka that saw her first.

"Mikan?"

Natsume's entire body felt like it had been jolted with Jinno's electricity. Mikan? Mikan was back? Before anyone else could react, he vaulted over the back of his seat and ran towards her. She stood silently in front of the door as he came to stand in front of her, wide-eyed. His eyes scanned over her, looking to see if they'd hurt her. Physically, she looked alright, but when his eyes met hers, he felt a shudder go down his spine. They were so cold, empty, lifeless. He was certain he'd seen the same look in his own eyes mirrored back to him in the past. Grabbing her shoulders, he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly and burying his face in her neck.

By now, the other students had noticed her. Ruka had come to stand beside the pair, and also noticed the difference in Mikan. It was chilling. Like see what had happened to Natsume happen all over again. The other students watched Natsume and Mikan with surprise, so many thoughts going through the room. Mikan was back, but what had happened to her? And why was Natsume suddenly being so affectionate? Was it just because he had missed his partner? His friend? A few people in the room even noted how odd it was that it wasn't Ruka who was clinging to her. Iinchou had started to move toward her, but seeing her and Natsume, he felt somehow like he shouldn't interrupt. Instead, he sat back down, trying to swallow the sudden lump he felt in his throat. Nonoko and Anna had tears in their eyes as they watched they scene. They didn't really understand what was going on, but seeing Mikan and Natsume like that was heart wrenching. What had happened to their friend?

After a moment, Natsume let her go, but he kept her hand in his. The three moved to their seats in silence. There was so much to ask, so much to say. But now was hardly the time. Natsume wasn't sure who made the comment first, but soon whispers were spreading throughout the room.

"Do you see that? Look, there on her uniform."

"EH? Is that a special star?"

"When did she become a special?"

"Why? She's not all that amazing…"

Natsume had noticed it when he had looked her over, but hadn't been terribly surprised. Saddened, disturbed, yes, but not surprised. She was the principal's pet now, his precious favorite. Of course he'd give her a high ranking.

The front door of the classroom slid open, and Jinno-sensei entered. He looked over the room, his eyes falling on Mikan. Natsume noticed JinJIn didn't seem surprised to see her. Perhaps the teachers had been informed that she would be returning today.

"Sakura-san, how nice of you to join us. Class, welcome back the newest member of the dangerous abilities class."

The whispers, which had died when Jinno entered, reignited.

"Eh? Dangerous ability? Same as Natsume?"

"I wonder if that's why she is a special now…"

"What's so dangerous about her? What can nullification do?"

"Didn't you hear? She has the Stealing Alice too."

It was obvious that she would now be in the dangerous abilities class, but to hear it confirmed out loud made Natsume's heart clench. Everything he had wanted to protect her from was happening. The darkness that had blackened his soul was sucking her down too.

"Don't think that just because you are a special now that things are going to be easy." Jinno-sensei continued. "You have three months worth of work to catch up on and exams right around the corner. I expect to see you working twice as hard as everyone else."

"Wow…harsh." Sumire whispered.

Jinno turned to the board and began class. Throughout the class, Natsume kept glancing over at Mikan. She hadn't said a word, had hardly even looked at him, but she had a vice grip on his hand. Natsume could feel his blood boil. He would find a way to get her out of here, to get her where the school couldn't control her anymore, even if it meant giving her up to her mother Azumi Yuka, even if he might never see her again. He would make sure she was safe.

* * *

So, there's it is! R&R.


	10. Don't Save Me

Here's the next chapter!

03/25/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: How many ways can I say "not mine"?

* * *

Mikan sat silently beside Natsume, struggling with herself. More than anything else, she wanted to throw herself into his arms and cry. _No, I can't do that. I have to be strong. For everyone, but especially him. I can't let him worry._ She hadn't spoken to him yet. She couldn't find words. What to say? What could she tell him? She didn't trust herself to keep everything inside if she opened her mouth. So she sat silent beside him throughout the entire class.

She was not deaf to the whispers, but she had expected them. The idea of there being a special star level student in the elementary division in the first place had been unbelievable. For there to now be two must see ludicrous in their minds. Especially her. But it didn't matter. She hadn't chosen this ranking; she hated what it symbolized, but she would carry on, despite the consequences she was sure would come from her sudden elevation, the jealousy and suspicion. And of course she had known what would come of being a dangerous abilities student. She had seen Natsume, had seen her mother and Luna. She knew what to expect.

Besides, she had chosen this for herself. She would carry it with courage. Because she had something to fight for, something she had to do. And if this was the best way to do it, she would to the best of her ability.

Still, her soul felt weary. She despised herself in so many ways for what she'd become. But the price wasn't too great. It could never be too great.

A heavy tension had settled over the class. Throughout the rest of the day's class work there seemed to be an almost oppressive air on the students. No one was really sure what to think, what to say. Mikan was back. But what had happened? There were so many mysteries, so many strange things that were happening. Confusion, suspicion, anger, relief, so many emotions swirled through the class. Only Koko seemed nearly untouched, perhaps because he had listened to such a conglomeration of thoughts on every emotional spectrum his entire life that he had become almost immune to it.

As soon as the bell rang, Natsume rose, pulling Mikan's hand, leading her quickly out of the room. Ruka watched them leave, feeling torn. He wanted to follow, wanted to be there for Mikan. But somehow he felt now was not the time. Natsume and Mikan needed to be with each other right now. He couldn't intrude. Sighing heavily, he stood and walked out of the class. Perhaps if he went to the animal stables, he could distract himself for a while.

Some of the students, namely Yuu and Sumire, made as if to stop them, anxious for Mikan (Yuu) and wanting to know what had happened to her (Sumire). But something about the pair told them now was not the time.

Natsume hurried down the hall, pulling Mikan along behind them. Once they were out of earshot of at least most of the class, Mikan finally found her voice.

"Where are we going?"

Her voice was soft, monotone. Natsume almost missed it, but his heart tugged as he heard her voice again for the first time in so long. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't the voice he had so longed to hear. This wasn't the cheerful, optimistic, indomitable Mikan he had so desperately wanted back. But still, she was Mikan, and he ached to put her back together, to help save her from the darkness she was drowning in.

"We're going to find Narumi…or that uncle of yours. Somebody, anybody who can get you out of here, take you away where they can't hurt you anymore."

Mikan froze, forcing Natsume to stop as well.

"No."

He spun around, looking at her in disbelief.

"What?"

Surely he'd heard her wrong. He hadn't even said yet that he wouldn't be going with her.

"I said, no. I'm not leaving. I've made my decision. I'm staying here."

"No, you're not," Natsume said, his voice clipped. "You're getting out of here, and you're going tonight. Somewhere far away where that conniving principal and that monster can't get to you anymore."

Mikan shook her head, but Natsume wouldn't accept that.

"Mikan, please, you have to leave. I can't just stand by and watch them destroy you like this. I know better than anyone what they put you through. What they do to you. What they make you become. I can't let that happen to you. At least, not anymore than it already has. I know you're worried about us, but please, Mikan, you need to leave."

He was nearly pleading with her, but on her face he could clearly see that she was unmoved. Natsume could feel himself getting angry. He hated seeing her so empty, so broken. Why couldn't she see that she needed to leave? For his sanity if nothing else.

"It's not so bad, really. I'm ok. I don't want to leave."

"NOT SO BAD?!" Natsume snapped, pouring out all the anger that had been building up inside him over the last few months, all the worry, all the fear. "Have you seen yourself?! Mikan, have you seen what they've done to you? You're not the same. You've changed."

When she dropped her eyes, he reached forward, roughly grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer, forcing her to look at him.

"What did they do to you, Mikan? Where did they take you?" He demanded. She remained silent.

"Tell me!"

"Nothing! They did nothing to me!" Mikan snapped, pulling away from him angrily. This isn't how she'd wanted it to be. This isn't how she'd wanted to reunite with him. Why did he have to be so pushy? Why couldn't he just let it go? It was her decision to make after all, not his.

"I'm fine, okay? I don't need to go anywhere."

Natsume pulled back when she snapped at him, eyes wide as he realized how upset he had gotten at her. It wasn't her fault. She wasn't the one he was angry with. Calming himself, he thought carefully about what to say next. Why had he stayed for so long? Why had he allowed them to use him? For the sake of others. She must be doing the same. They most of coerced her, promised her something.

"Mikan, what did they promise you? What are you trying to do? Who are you protecting?"

Tsubasa, perhaps? He had been moved out of the dangerous abilities class when she had disappeared. But that didn't seem big enough. There had to be more to it. But what? What did she think she could achieve by staying?

"I just want to stay, that's all." Such a careful answer. Natsume could feel himself getting angry again, but he held it back, instead reaching out to her again, speaking gently.

"How can I help you if you won't tell me? How can I save you?"

Mikan pulled back from him again, eyes looking sharply at him, stern, determined.

"I don't want you to save me. I don't need to be saved. Mind your own business, Natsume."

Her words were so cold. Natsume pulled back like he'd been stung, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes. He tried to remind himself that she'd been through a lot. That she probably didn't mean it. Still, he couldn't rid himself of the feeling of betrayal.

As they stood there silently – the atmosphere between them strained – they heard footsteps coming quickly down the hall. A moment later, Narumi rounded the corner. Almost immediately his eyes found Mikan. Natsume saw a mix of emotions play across Narumi's face before the pheromone user moved closer to them.

"Finally. Maybe you can talk some sense into her." Natsume said acerbically, trying to hide the pain and betrayal he felt inside behind an angry façade. Narumi shot him a questioning look before turning back to Mikan.

Mikan watched Narumi come towards her, a strong longing building up inside her. She wanted so badly to just rush into his arms. To let it all out. To cry and be the little kid she'd been before. To let him comfort her like the father she'd never had, because this school had destroyed him. But she couldn't do that. She had to be strong. She couldn't break, couldn't let them see her pain. Then they really would make her leave, and all her efforts would be for naught.

"Mikan?" Narumi asked questioningly, surprised when she didn't immediately throw herself into his arms. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, reassure himself that she was back, that she was safe. But as he looked closer, he felt his heart sink. Because reflected there in her eyes was what he had most wanted to protect her from. Like Natsume, he saw mirrored back to him familiar eyes. Eyes that looked like his once had, like Natsume's, like Yuka's.

"Oh, Mikan." He whispered softly as his heart bled for her. He understood all too well how the principal and his tasks could rip one of their very soul. Taking a deep breath, he continued, speaking softly, so they wouldn't be overheard. "Mikan, the high school principal would like to speak with you. If you'd come with me."

"I don't need to see the principal." Mikan stated firmly. Narumi stared at her in surprise. Observing her, his thoughts immediately turned to her mother. Yuka would not like this Mikan. This was everything they had all tried so hard to prevent. History was repeating itself. "I've made my decision. I'm staying here."

"Mikan, please, let's at least talk this out."

"No. I've made up my mind. I'm staying here. If you want me to leave, you'll have to drag me out." Her eyes narrowed, daring him to argue.

Natsume scowled, and Narumi watched her in concern. But he knew he wouldn't be able to sway her. Mikan was stubborn, and he could clearly read in her eyes that she'd set her mind to something. Rubbing his forehead, trying to rid himself of the headache he felt coming on, he sighed wearily.

"Very well. I shall pass your message on. But still, I think your uncle you like to see you regardless. Won't you at least let him see for himself that you are back and…well?"

Mikan shook her head, dropping her gaze to the floor. She didn't want to hurt her uncle. She had so little family and had not even known of their existence for so long that she wanted to treasure them with everything she had. But she didn't know what she'd say to him, couldn't bring herself to face him just yet.

Narumi walked closer to her, leaning down to look at her on her level. "Alright, but should you need anything, anything at all, or just want someone to talk to, you can come to me anytime."

Natsume snorted irritably. "Who'd need you?" he muttered, admittedly still feeling bitter about Mikan's cold attitude toward him. Mikan simply nodded, dropping her eyes, tired of fighting with them, tired of holding it all in. She had thought it would be so wonderful to be reunited with everyone. She had missed them all so much, especially Natsume. But now all she wanted was to be alone again. At least alone, she didn't have to hide.

"I'm tired," she said softly, "and I've got a ton of studying to do, so I'm gonna go to my room now, ok?"

She wasn't really sure who she was asking, but she walked around Narumi without another word and left. Narumi and Natsume watched her quietly, deep concern etched on Narumi's face, and a grimace on Natsume's. Once she was out of sight, Natsume turned and walked the other direction without a word to the flamboyant teacher. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he needed to pull himself together. Narumi's eyes followed Natsume as he left. This is not how things were suppose to happen. How had everything gone so far wrong?

* * *

So there's the next chapter. A lot to digest, I suppose. Hope you liked it. R&R.


	11. Comforter

Sorry sorry that I didn't add a chapter yesterday. My husband demanded I spend time with him last night, so I didn't get the chance to. To make it up, I'll post two chapters tonight. Here's the first one, and I'll have the second one up soon.

03/25/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Not mine

* * *

Mikan stood in front of the door to her new room. Slowly, she turned the knob and entered. It was huge, so much bigger than her previous room. It looked very much like Natsume's, which made sense, since he was also a special. However, where Natsume's room had been filled with various things of his, manga in particular, her few belongings only served to make the room appear even emptier.

Weary, she slumped into her chair, laying out her textbook on the desk in front of her. She knew it was basically pointless to study. She only had a few days until the exams. There was no way she could catch up on three months of work by then. Besides, even if she somehow managed to ace the test, she couldn't possibly win the week home. She knew that. She had forfeited those rights.

But regardless, she tried to focus on her studies. She needed to study, to throw herself into something and concentrate, to distract herself from everything that had happened, everything she didn't want to remember. Those faces, oh those faces. And then the confrontations today. Things weren't supposed to happen that way. She didn't want to fight with Natsume or push Narumi away. But what else could she do? She couldn't tell them. They wouldn't understand. They'd only try to stop her.

She couldn't focus her eyes on the text. The words blurred together as tears stung her eyes. Slowly drops began to stain the page. She tried to rub her eyes, to stop the tears. Once they started, though, she couldn't make them stop. Bending over in her seat, she sobbed into her hands, her body shaking as each one racked her body. _Natsume, Natsume._ She wanted to run to him, to let him comfort her, protect her. _No, I can't. Not him. Especially not him. He can't know how much I'm hurting. I can't let him try to save me again._

She had no idea how long she sat in that chair crying, but when she finally pulled herself together enough to sit up, she noticed it was dark outside. The room seemed even lonelier now that it was dark. Mikan rose from the chair, anxious to go somewhere that wouldn't add fuel to her already overwhelming feelings of aloneness. She opened the door carefully, looking down the hall in both directions to make sure no one else would see her with her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Now that she was a principal student, she lived right down the hall from Natsume, so she had to be particularly careful of running into him.

Once assured that no one was there, she made her way out. She left the elementary dorm and wandered, not sure where she was going. After a little while, she found a bench on a path surrounded by tress and sat, letting the cool evening breeze wash through her.

Ruka watched her from his spot in a tree not far away, where he'd been trying to clear his thoughts. It surprised him that she wasn't with Natsume. He had thought the two would be inseparable now, had assumed that they'd been together all afternoon. But Natsume was nowhere to be seen, and Mikan had never looked so alone. He couldn't see her like that and leave her be. Quietly, he hopped down from the tree and made his way over to her.

"Mikan? Mikan? Are you alright?"

His gentle, concerned voice reached Mikan's ears, and her head shot up. Her bloodshot eyes met his concerned ones. Sniffling, Mikan tried to rein in her emotions. She gave Ruka a weak attempt at a smile. It didn't reach her eyes. Instead of reassuring Ruka, it only served to break his heart. He hated seeing her so broken. Just like they'd broken Natsume, this school was breaking her. This beautiful girl who'd helped put his best friend back together was now falling to pieces.

"I'm alright," she said, her voice rough, unsteady. Walking closer to her, Ruka wondered how Natsume could just abandon her like this. Where was he? Mikan clearly needed him. Then his heart sank as an unwelcome thought entered it. _Perhaps they have him on another mission. Maybe that's why he's not here._ Mikan would probably know.

"Where's Natsume?" When Mikan merely shrugged, Ruka's brows furrowed in confusion. It didn't escape his notice that at the mention of Natsume's name a pained expression crossed her face. Deciding to let it go for the moment, he sat down beside her. "Can I do anything for you?"

Mikan was about to refuse him, push him away like the others. But she couldn't make herself do it. She needed someone to be with her right now. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to rely on someone else, if even for just a few moments. And Ruka felt safe. She knew he wouldn't try to pressure her or persuade her like the others. He wouldn't demand answers. He was exactly the person she needed right now. Someone to cry on who wouldn't ask anything of her, who would let her keep her own counsel and still comfort her.

With this thought to encourage her, the dam broke. Burying her face in his shoulder, she wept and wept. Sobs shook her small frame as Ruka tenderly wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her. They sat there in silence, except for the occasionally whimper from Mikan, taking comfort in just being in another person's presence. Neither said a word. Ruka didn't ask why she was crying, didn't ask why she hadn't turned to Natsume. It didn't matter. If she wanted to tell him she would, but he understood that what she needed most in this moment was a silent comforter.

Natsume stormed through the forest, angry, confused, hurt, and feeling more than a little betrayed. He had been so worried for her these past three months, had been in a state of near panic wondering what had happened to her. Then, when she came back, she just brushed him aside. He tried to help her, tried to rescue her, and she flat out denied him to his face without any sort of explanation. And she was lying to him. He knew she was. He was certain the elementary headmaster had done horrible things to her, had made her do horrible things. Why wouldn't she let him take her away from all this? He couldn't bear to see this school destroy her, twist her, the way it had twisted him.

"Kuso!" He slammed his fist into a tree, cursing darkly. _Why, Mikan?! Why?!_ Resting his head against the tree, he tried to clear his head, dropping his now bleeding hand down to his side. Why wouldn't she rely on him? Why was she shutting him out? He had thought they grown closer. Hadn't she even confessed to him? It seemed like a dim memory now, like something from another world. Now she was treating him as a mere acquaintance, someone who couldn't be trusted to confide in. That hurt more than she could possibly imagine.

Pushing off the tree, he started to wander aimlessly, headed in the general direction of the elementary school dorms. He was hardly aware of his surroundings until he noticed a light shining through the trees. Making his way towards what he was sure was a lamp post on one school paths, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a pair sitting on a bench, bathed in the soft lamplight. Not just any pair. Ruka and Mikan.

Eyes wide, he took in the sight before him. Mikan, face buried in Ruka's shoulder, clearly crying, while Ruka held her. The adoration and concern in Ruka's eyes was obvious, but that didn't surprise Natsume. However, watching Mikan opening up to Ruka like that felt like a knife twisting in his heart. She had shut herself down with him, closed herself off. Yet here she was, vulnerable, hurting, just as he knew she would be. But it wasn't him she'd turned to for comfort. It wasn't him she felt she could rely on. Trying to ignore the painful beating in his chest, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from the scene. Turning back into the forest, he started to sprint. He had no direction, no goal, except to get away, to get as far away from that sight as he could.

* * *

Sorry, a bit dark and depressing, I know. R&R Onegai!


	12. Missing You

Here's that second chapter I promised you. Two in one night. What fun.

03/25/10: Rewritten/Edited

Disclaimer: Wait! Let me check…nope. Still not mine.

* * *

"Doesn't it feel like there's an oppressive cloud over the back of the room?" Nonoko whispered to Anna, looking over her shoulder at the three figures that seemed to be generating said cloud.

"Mmhmm," Anna agreed, nodding. "It's weird. I mean, for things to be awkward with Mikan isn't so very strange, but it seems like even Ruka and Natsume are tense with each other."

The three topics of conversation sat in their usual seats. Things would have seemed completely normal if it weren't for the obvious fact that they were all ignoring each other. Not a one had said a word since they'd entered the classroom. Mikan had buried herself in her futile studies, glad for the excuse not to speak. Natsume appeared to be sleeping under his manga, but the strange waves of emotions rolling off him suggested otherwise. Ruka merely sat there silently, occasionally shifting uncomfortably, petting Usagi.

The rest of the class tried to carry on as usual, but no one seemed sure how to act with the stormy undercurrents in the background. This unease continued on throughout the rest of the week and into the exams. Even the teachers seemed discomfited by the strangeness of Class B. Exams came and went, but still there was no release for the tension.

Sighing, Mikan rested her head on the desk in her room. For better or worse, the exams were over. She was sure she had failed every one of them despite the fact that she had studied almost nonstop for the past few days. With them over, however, she had to face the uncomfortable fact that she no longer had the excuse of studies to run away from life. Tomorrow, she'd have to face reality and find some sort of balance. Find some way to make up with Natsume without surrendering to him. But that was tomorrow.

Turning her head, she noticed the tear-away calendar on her desk. The date jumped out at her. October 25. Shooting up in her seat, she grabbed the calendar and stared at it. Was it really October 25 already? Hotaru's birthday.

Her eyes moved to the HAM caller collecting dust on the shelf over her desk. Had she really not spoken to Hotaru in over three months? In truth, she knew subconsciously she had avoided thinking about Hotaru. She was afraid to call her. She didn't know what to say to her. She was also fairly certain that Hotaru would be able to read in her voice that there was something wrong. Hotaru already had enough on her shoulders, what with the new setting and all. Mikan didn't want to burden her with her problems.

Regardless, it was Hotaru's birthday, and it really was about time she called. She knew she was way overdue. Picking up the HAM caller with some trepidation, she pulled on the pigtail and heard a ring as the phone called Hotaru.

Oink! Oink! Oink! Baka's Calling! Oinky! Oink!

Hotaru jolted up from her nap in surprise as she heard the ring of the HAM caller break the silence of her room for the first time. Quickly, she snatched it up, pressing her ear to the phone. Answering as calmly as possible, she tried to stamp out the worry and irritation from her voice.

"Hello? Mikan?"

Mikan felt an aching longing build up inside her as the oh-so-familiar voice filled her ear. Swallowing down the lump that had risen in her throat, she tried to answer as cheerfully as possible, willing Hotaru to hear a smile in her voice.

"Hi, Hotaru!" she said with almost over the top bubbliness. "Sorry it's taken me so long to call. A lot's been going on."

Hotaru immediately picked up on the strange quality of Mikan's voice. Something was wrong. Very wrong. And it was clear that Mikan didn't want her to know.

"Baaaka. I thought you'd lost it already." Hotaru teased, trying to sound nonchalant. Maybe if Mikan didn't suspect that Hotaru was suspicious, she'd let something slip.

"No! I didn't lose it. I've just been busy. Besides, didn't you tell me not to bother you with trifling complaints?" The teasing almost seemed real. Mikan almost felt normal. Hotaru had always given her strength in strange ways. Like Natsume...

She shook her head, forcing herself not to think about him right now. She'd have to deal with that later, but right now was Hotaru's time.

"Since when have you had any respect for my rules?"

"Just thought you'd need some time to settle and get your projects underway." Mikan answered lightly.

Hotaru glanced at the ever growing pile of unfinished projects and useless gadgets strewn around her room. Mikan didn't need to know about that.

"Anyway…I called to tell you Happy Birthday! Are you doing anything interesting today?" Mikan continued, eager to get to the purpose of her call.

"Not really. Just working on this and that. Birthday parties are only something for immature children like you."

Mikan huffed in fake irritation.

Their conversation carried on like this for nearly an hour: teasing, light-hearted. Both carefully edited their stories, carefully avoided certain topics. To all appearances, their conversation was happy, comfortable, friendly, normal.

That couldn't have been further from the truth. It didn't take Mikan very long to realize that Hotaru seemed unusually cheerful. And every time Mikan asked her what she'd been working on lately, or if she had any new friends, Hotaru would just answer vaguely "this and that" or Mr. such-and-such had said something funny the other day. Mikan felt her heart sink as she realized it was quite possible that Hotaru was as lonely as she was.

Hotaru's concern grew as they talked. It almost seemed that Mikan was omitting the last three months of her life from conversation. The only things she talked about were the exams and something funny she'd heard another student say in class the other day. What was going on?

When the conversation was over and both had said their goodbye's, with Mikan promising not to wait so long before she called again, the two both sat back in their chairs in front of their desks, miles and miles apart, staring with deep concern at the Pig-faced HAM caller.

_Something is very wrong. What's going on here?_ They both thought, their minds in tune, despite the distance between them.

…_I miss you..._

* * *

There's the next chappie, for all those of you missing Hotaru. The next chapter's gonna be more interesting and slightly more upbeat, I swear. As usual, R&R. I live off reviews. They are my addiction.


	13. A Flicker of Hope

At long last, the much anticipated 13th chapter…it just occurred to me that this is the number 13…unlucky mayhap? Ah well. It has been conquered. Onward we plunge to new chapters and more story revealed. Hope you enjoy.

[Author's Note 3/23/10:

Don't worry my dear readers; for once this note is not for me to tell you that I am quitting the story. Rather, it is to let you know that I will be updating it in short order. However, before that, I am going through and editing the earlier chapter. Chapter one is particular has had some significant changes. If you are one of my faithful from early on, I ask that you go back and reread the chapters I am redoing for continuities sake. If nothing else, at least reread chapter one. And be patient. I will have new chapters up soon. Thank you for your loyalty and support. As always, reviews are my life substance. Please let me know what you think of the revision to the first chapter if you read the earlier version. Thank you and I look forward to your continued support.]

Disclaimer: Nothing has changed in the last year…this story is still not mine.

* * *

Mikan set the HAM caller back in its spot above her desk and sighed. _There is nothing I can do for Hotaru right now. I need to focus on what I can do, what I have to do._ With this thought as her focal point, she pulled out the necklace she wore around her neck. Her friends' Alices were a comfort and encouragement to her, even at the darkest moments. During the week she had spent waiting for Natsume to wake up in the hospital, she occupied her waking hours beside him, stringing her newly received Alice stones onto her necklace. Now, Hotaru's, Nobara's, Tusbasa's, Ruka's, and Nodacchi's stones joined Sakurano's, Tono's, and Natsume's.

She held Natsume's stone in her palm a moment longer before turning to her desk drawer and opening it. Shortly after arriving in her new room, she had used Hotaru's Alice to help her create a false bottom for one of her desk drawers. She now opened that and pulled out the box hidden therein. Removing the lid from the box, she pulled out the bag of Alice stones that her mother had given her before she'd been taken that night. She had been lucky that the Elementary School Principal and Persona had not seen it necessary to search her. They had remained safely in her pocket throughout the entire horrid ordeal.

Next she pulled out the few other Alice stones she had managed to acquire on some of her missions and stash away without the principal's notice. One of these in particular she hoped would help her find the means to achieve her goal. Her brow furrowed as she examined the drab gray Alice stone. She wished she was smarter. No doubt Hotaru or Natsume would have figured out a solution long ago, but she couldn't turn to them. Not only did she not want to burden and endanger them, but she couldn't risk being overheard and having her plans revealed. With students like Hayami on campus, it was far too obvious how even the most careful conversations could be overheard. No, she had to keep her thoughts to herself, silent and hidden. Of course, Koko would probably be able to find out easily enough, but she knew he could keep it to himself. He didn't reveal people secrets – their inner heart – at least not the stuff that really mattered.

As Mikan stared at the stone in her palm, trying to focus, her vision began to blur. She was so exhausted from pouring herself into her studies the last several nights, among other things, that she could barely keep her eyes opened. Resigning herself to the reality that she would not be accomplishing anything further tonight, she placed the stones and bag back in the box and set the box back in its spot beneath the false bottom. Barely awake, she changed into her pajamas and tucked the necklace safely underneath before collapsing on her bed and falling dead asleep. Fortunately, when she was so exhausted, she would usually sleep so deeply that nightmares rarely disturbed her – a blessing she eagerly sought.

Natsume was not so fortunate. Fire seemed to surround him everywhere, taunting, threatening to destroy everything important to him and leave him unscathed and drowning in guilt. It was a common nightmare for him. But this time, he could hear her voice calling, screaming. It drove him wild with panic as he ran in desperation to find her, frequently tripping and falling only to drag himself back to his feet and continue running. Finally, he could see a form lying, writhing on the ground a few meters off. As he rushed to her side, he noticed the ground beneath her was solid red and spreading. So much blood. How could a person loose that much blood and live? Trembling, he reached her body and pulled her into his arms. He couldn't see where the blood was coming from, but it kept coming, spreading to the flames that circled them without touching them, intimidating and foreboding. Her mouth opened and closed like she was trying to speak to him but he couldn't hear her. Then she went limp in his arms, and Natsume lost his grip on reality, screaming in anguish.

Natsume shot up in bed, panting and coughing violently in turn, his whole body trembling. His sheets and pillowcase were drenched in sweat. Once he could take in enough air to catch his breath, he stumbled out of bed, one hand clutching his pajama shirt where his heart raced with adrenaline underneath. It felt so real. He had to see her. He wouldn't believe she was okay until he could see her alive and safe with his own eyes.

He reached the windowsill and quickly lifted it and climbed out onto the roof. Her room was just a few meters over, the window closest to his. He made his way carefully across the roof until he reached her window. Peering inside, he tried to make out her sleeping form on the bed, but it was too dark to tell. Cautiously, he slid open her window and dropped silent as a cat to her bedroom floor. He padded stealthily across her room to her bedside and sighed with relief as he looked at her sweet, sleeping face.

_Oh, thank goodness. She's okay._

She looked so beautiful, sleeping there. Unwilling to leave just yet, he sat softly on the bed beside her and watched her. She looked so innocent and peaceful, like before. He was grateful the horrors somehow left her untouched in sleep. The same could certainly not be said for him. Sure that she was too deep in sleep to notice, he reached his hand out and gently caressed her cheek.

"Oh Mikan, I miss you." Natsume was surprised at the lump in his throat, but swallowed it back. "I'm sorry for being angry with you. I'm just so scared for you. I hate to see you hurting. What can I do to bring you back to me? Why won't you rely on me? Why won't you turn to me? Why Ruka?" His eyes travelled over her delicate face once more, trying to stamp out the feeling of loneliness that threatened to overwhelm him. "Oh Mikan…"

Sighing heavily, Natsume climbed onto the large bed enough to lean over her and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. With that, he climbed back off the bed and returned to his room. Once the window slid shut, Mikan rolled over on her side, a tear rolling down her cheek. _I'm sorry Natsume. I want to rely on you, I do. But I can't let you try to stop me. I'm sorry._ Tears continued to overflow from her eyes as she tried to fall back into a now restless sleep.

Mikan groaned as she rolled over to escape the sunlight coming through her window. She felt like she had barely closed her eyes. She thought for a good long minute about trying to just go back to sleep and sleep the day, since it was Sunday, and they had no class. But her stomach decided at that moment to make its presence loudly known. Resigned to the inevitable, she dragged herself out of bed and made her way downstairs for breakfast.

Ruka had sat next to Natsume in the cafeteria out of habit, but now he shifted uncomfortably and stared at his food. They had hardly said to words to each other since the day Mikan had come back. Somehow he felt that Natsume was angry with him, but he couldn't understand why. On top of that, there seemed to be something between his best friend and Mikan as well. What had happened between the two of them? Other people might have leapt on this opportunity, but Ruka wasn't that type. He wouldn't take advantage of the rift between them to try to get closer to her. He knew they were meant for each other. So then, what was the problem? More than anything, he wanted to bring them together again…but with neither talking to him, he couldn't even guess where to start.

Just as he was thinking this, Mikan came down the stairs, blurry-eyed and in her pajamas. She stumbled to the counter to get her breakfast, and then stood feeling lost and confused, wondering where to sit. Ruka, seeing this, decided it was high time for him to take matters into his own hands. Smiling brightly, he turned in his seat and waved at her, beckoning her to join him. Her eyes shifted uncomfortably to Natsume, whose back was towards her, before she gathered her resolve and walked over to join them. Before she had the opportunity to move to sit next to Ruka, away from Natsume, he moved over and indicated for her to sit between them. She hesitated and then sat.

Natsume glanced at her from the corner of his eye, wondering what he should say. She looked so tired. He wondered why. When he had left her room last night, she looked like she had been sleeping well. He almost asked her before he remembered that he had snuck into her room uninvited in the first place. It would be awkward if she knew he'd been there.

Ruka watched the pair as they stared at their plates, searching for something to say to lighten the situation. He settled on the only thing that came to mind.

"That's a lot of food? You sure you can eat it all?" He grinned as Mikan looked up at him, confused, then back at her plate.

"Huh? Oh…" She had been eating Special Star meals for a week now and hadn't even really noticed. Now as she looked at it, she couldn't help but smile a little. It sure was a lot of food. She could only imagine what Hotaru would say if she saw it…probably something like how Mikan owed her for this and that before proceeding to pick stuff off her plate until there was practically nothing left for her. Hotaru could be such a glutton. This thought made Mikan giggle.

That happy little sound brought Natsume's head up immediately as he turned to look at her in surprise. That little grin that graced her face while she looked at her food was almost like having the old Mikan back. He shifted his gaze to Ruka, who grinned at him encouragingly. Natsume took the cue.

"Baaaka. If you eat all that you're gonna be so huge even that big new bed of yours won't be able to hold you." For a second, he wondered if he had gone too far as she turned her head to scowl at him, but the twinkle in her eyes set him at ease. Then she stuck out her tongue, an act that had him staring in awe.

"Well, somehow _you're_ bed hasn't given out yet, so I think I'll manage. I certainly won't make things worse for you by sharing with you, jerk."

Ruka laughed at the look of mock condescension on Natsume's face as he retorted.

"Why would I want your food, idiot? I have the same thing, remember?"

Ruka cut in, purposefully eyeing Mikan's plate with longing.

"Would you mind sharing with me? Those eggs look lots better than mine."

"Of course, Ruka," Mikan smiled sweetly at him, shooting a taunting look at Natsume. Before either of them could react, Natsume's chopsticks shot out and snatched the aforementioned egg, shoving it in his mouth. Ruka and Mikan stared at him, dumbfounded. Natsume chewed and swallowed with an overly noisy gulp.

"Just didn't want Ruka infected by your food. Who knows what your germs could do?"

Simultaneously, all three started laughing. The sight was so rare and out of the blue, it drew the attention of the entire cafeteria. Everyone stared at them baffled. Their friends watched the trio's antics, confused but relieved. The whole cafeteria's mood felt immensely lighter, the tension of the last week diffused, like the clouds had been chased away to reveal a bit of sun.

As they laughed, Natsume caught Ruka's eye behind Mikan's head. _Thank you,_ he mouthed, truly grateful. Somehow, he felt like Ruka had started the healing process. Maybe they'd make it through this after all. He knew nothing had really been resolved, but things like this couldn't be rushed. One step at a time…that was the only way to heal deep wounds. She had taught him that.

Ruka nodded in understanding. He was relieved. The two were talking to each other again. After this, it was up to them, but at least he had done what little he could.

Narumi watched from his place in the doorway, feeling the first spark of optimism that he had felt in days. These were the children he knew. These were the children who could take the world by storm with the strength of their bonds and the warmth in their hearts. This was their hope.

* * *

So how was it? Did it make up for the long absence? Or did it reveal how out of practice I am? Well, as usual, I live and breathe for reviews so R&R!!


	14. One Step Forward

Here's the next chapter! Over all, this one's a bit more lighthearted than previous ones. Hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Nope…I don't think blackmailing Tachibana will make Gakuen Alice mine either.

* * *

"So, want to go to Central town with me today? I've got some shopping to do." Ruka asked the pair as they finished their breakfast. Mikan thought about this for a second as she finished chewing her last piece of sausage. She couldn't think of any reason why she shouldn't go. Besides, she was determined to be optimistic, at least on the outside. It did no one else any good if she was sullen and hurting all the time. And she had to take advantage of every moment she had with her friends. Who knew when something would take them away for good? At this thought her gaze shifted to Natsume before she quickly looked back at Ruka, determined not to dwell on that thought. Compartmentalize…isn't that what she heard someone call it? Well that's what she'd do. From now on, when she was with her friends, she would shove all her pain and worry into a little compartment in her brain and lock it tight. The happy, spirited Mikan was what her friends expected, needed. So that's who she'd be. She'd chosen this path…there was no use dragging everyone else down with her. Like that time with Luna, she had to be strong and not let anything show, for everyone else's sake.

"Sure, sounds like fun." Then Mikan recalled her state of dress. Looking down at her pajamas she grinned foolishly. "Guess I should probably get dressed first. I'll meet you back here in fifteen minutes?"

Ruka smiled and nodded before turning to his best friend. A simple nod confirmed he'd be joining them as well. With that, Mikan ran to her room and dressed at top speed. True to her word she was back downstairs in fifteen minutes flat.

"Ok, ready," she huffed, out of breath. Ruka chuckled and a smile twitched at Natsume's lips. She looked even prettier all flushed and winded.

"Alright then, after you," Ruka indicated to the door. And with that they were off. On the bus, Mikan plopped herself down next to Natsume without a word, instead rambling off at Ruka about how much Howalon she could by with her new allowance. As Natsume listened to her, he was impressed with how much her acting had improved. One could almost believe this was the same Mikan from a few months ago. But he watched her smiling face with discerning eyes and saw the flicker of suffering lurking just beneath. Yes, her acting had improved, but she still couldn't fool him. He knew his Mikan too well for that. Quietly, he slid his hand across the seat cushion and slipped it into hers, his heart skipping just a little when her fingers tightened around his, and she turned to look at him in surprise. He met her gaze steadily and after a moment she blushed and turned away, but as she did, he saw the flash of real happiness in her eyes. _Don't worry, Mikan. No matter what, I'm here for you. We'll weather this together._

As Natsume thought this, the bus arrived at their destination. It had been a while since he'd been to Central Town. Absently, he wondered what it was Ruka needed to get here. Natsume had released Mikan's hand so that they could shuffle their way out of the bus, but now as they began making their way through Central Town, he snatched it back up, glaring at anyone who dared stare at the young pair.

Mikan's heart did flipflops as she felt Natsume's hand wrap around hers. She wondered how they looked to the other people in Central Town. Did they look like a couple? Now that she thought about it, were they? They'd both confessed to each other back before her disappearing act. Did Natsume consider them boyfriend and girlfriend now? She felt her cheeks go hot at the idea. She had to admit, she liked it. She realized Natsume was watching her with a curious expression, and she turned even redder. She probably looked like a tomato by now. Darn him and his powers of observation. Trying to get her cheeks back to normal, she turned to Ruka.

"Hey, what was it you needed to get here?" She inquired, curious.

"Erm…" Ruka's gaze shifted to Natsume. "It a secret…" he said, looking back at Mikan.

"Eh? A secret? What kind of secret?" Mikan leaned closer, trying to see if she could read it on his face. But she lacked Natsume's skills and was therefore no closer to revealing the truth.

"Um…well…" Ruka looked at Natsume again, then back at Mikan. Beckoning her to lean closer, he whispered in her ear, Natsume watching with a slight frown. "Well, you know, it's almost November…less than a month till Natsume's birthday. I was trying to get an idea what to get him. You should keep your eye open too. Maybe he'll give us an idea as we walk around."

Mikan's eyes widened. She had completely forgotten that his birthday was coming up. Nodding as Ruka pulled away, she looked back at Natsume, a thoughtful look on her face. Natsume rolled his eyes. As if they could be any more obvious. Ah well, he might as well walk around and see if he could find anything to help them in their dilemma. Besides, he was in no rush to relinquish Mikan's hand again anytime soon.

The air was cool and pleasant as they strolled about the town, a perfect autumn day. Mikan dragged them energetically from one store to another, looking for anything that peaked Natsume's interest. Natsume played along, picking up this, looking at that, but in truth he was too preoccupied to think about birthday presents. As happy as he was to see her smiling again, it bothered him deeply that she was hiding her true heart from him. Unconsciously, his hand tightened around hers. Mikan paused in the midst of her current rambling to look at him curiously, but when he said nothing, she turned back to Ruka to continue what she was saying.

They pasted the next couple hours in this generally peaceful manner, until they ran into some fellow shoppers.

"Hey! Shorty!" Tsubasa called, spotting them from a couple stores down. He, Misaki, and Megane walked over to join them. Mikan paused for a brief moment, trying to decide how to react to seeing her senpai again. She knew he probably had lots of questions for her. He was probably really worried. What was the best way to act to keep him from overreacting or being upset? Deciding to go with her earlier decision, she defaulted to how she would have acted before.

"Tsubasa-senpai!" Mikan grinned, running forward – releasing Natsume's hand to his great irritation – and wrapping herself around him in typical Koala-Mikan fashion. Tsubasa frowned briefly. He hadn't missed her hesitation, and on top of that she seemed overly cheerful. But for the moment, he went with it, picking her up and hugging her close.

"Hey, shorty, you had us all real worried there. We miss having you in the Special class." Tsubasa talked normally, but shot a worried glance at the two younger boys over her shoulder. Ruka simply shrugged, but Natsume had a killing aura as he glared at the older boy holding _his_ girl so close. Tsubasa ignored him, despite the slight chill of impending doom he felt run down his spine.

"Well, no matter what your new class is like, we'll always be your coolest senpai, huh?" Misaki grinned, trying to keep things light. "Hey, don't start thinkin' you're too cool for us or somethin' now that you're a principal," she joked. "Don't forget your roots!"

"Yeah! Hurray for roots!" Mikan, Misaki, Tsubasa, and Megane cheered like idiots, pumping their arms in the air. Ruka sweetdropped and Natsume gagged.

"Bunch of hopeless retards," he muttered, still shooting daggers of death at Tsubasa. Taking a couple quick steps forward, he grabbed Mikan's arm and yanked her back to him. _Don't keep touching what isn't yours, pedophile._

Tsubasa shrugged. _Hey now, no need to be all tense. She came to _me_._

"Let's get away from these loser's, Mikan. Their idiocy is contagious." Natsume ground out, his annoyed gaze never leaving Tsubasa. He pulled her hand and turned to walk to a different store down the way. Mikan twisted around to wave at the older group.

"Sorry guys, I've still got some shopping to do. I'll come visit later! Don't forget me!" She waved a tissue in a dramatic farewell as Natsume dragged her away, Ruka following close on their heels. Once they were out of earshot, Misaki turned to Tsubasa.

"Well, she seemed surprisingly cheerful."

"Yeah, too cheerful. She's hiding her true feelings. Natsume's worried too…" Tsubasa frowned.

"Eh?" Misaki looked at him, confused. "How could you tell through all the death glares?"

Tsubasa shrugged. "Call it protector's instinct. We're on the same wavelength, him and I."

"I think he'd roast you if he heard you say that." Megane pointed out, thinking of the fire-caster's strong distaste for the shadow user.

"Ah, Natsume, why are you always so mean to Tsubasa-senpai?" Mikan whined as they walked into the next store.

"Because your idiocy doesn't need encouragement," Natsume huffed, still irked. Ruka smiled, leaning over to whisper in Mikan's ear conspiratorially.

"Don't worry. He's just jealous because you're always hugging and clinging to that shadow manipulator."

"EH?! Natsume's jealous?!" Mikan shouted in surprise. Ruka sweat-dropped as everyone in the store turned to stare at them, and Natsume's scowl focused on him.

"Stupid, what are you saying now?" Natsume grumbled. Ruka diverted their attention, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Ah! Sakura, look! There's the Howalon store." Ruka pointed to the store a couple shops down across the street.

"Eh? Howalon?" With that, Mikan was gone, making her way through the crowd to the Howalon line, Natsume's hand forgotten. Natsume sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and shooting another scowl at Ruka before following after her. Ruka smiled a secret smile to himself, despite Natsume. This was almost like old times. It felt so normal. He laughed and went to join the other two as Mikan turned to beckon him excitedly.

* * *

So there it is! I see a lot of people are looking at this story, but hardly anyone is reviewing. :( Thank you, the few of you that have. Please review! Good, bad or otherwise, they are what I live for!


	15. Two Steps Back

Here's the next one!

Disclaimer: I considered a special ops mission…but I don't think that would make Gakuen Alice mine either…

* * *

Mikan grinned brightly as she juggled ten boxes of Howalon. Just as she was about to lose control of the tower of sweets, Ruka rushed forward and grabbed half of the boxes off the top. Mikan giggled.

"Thanks, Ruka. Maybe I overdid it a bit…"

"A bit?" Natsume asked teasingly. He had cooled off a bit as they had waited in line. That shadow user was irritating, but Mikan hadn't confessed to _him_ now, had she? Though it did seem like a whole different life time ago when she had... "What are you gonna do with that many? Your teeth are gonna be so rotten you'll have to use dentures."

"Now, now, Natsume, I'm sure Mikan isn't just gonna eat them all in one night. Right, Mikan?" Ruka turned to the girl and snickered when he saw she had already stuff three in her mouth.

"Huh? Whaf er u ayin?" She tried to ask around her stuffed cheeks.

"And I thought Hotaru was the glutton…" Natsume rolled his, slapping her back when she started choking on them. After a moment, Natsume's eyebrows pulled down in a frown. "Um, er…excuse me…bathroom."

With that, he suddenly ran off around the corner towards the restrooms. Mikan and Ruka watched after him in confusion, then shrugged and went to set the boxes on a bench to wait for him.

Natsume rushed around the corner and made it to a secluded spot before he keeled over, coughing violently into his hand. Damn…it was getting worse. His chest ached; he could barely breathe. It wasn't long before his palm was covered in his blood. He couldn't afford this now. He couldn't worry Mikan any more than she already was.

As Mikan chatted with Ruka on the bench while they waited, she noticed something from the corner of her eye and felt the blood drain from her face.

"Erm…Ruka, I gotta use the restroom too. I'll be right back." And with that she was up and gone before Ruka could respond. He watched her go with an anxious feeling settling in his chest. First Natsume and now Mikan? What was going on?

Mikan rounded the corner and stood face to face with Persona as he sneered at her.

"What a good little actress you are. The elementary principal has been very generous, giving you time to get settled back into class, but it's time you returned to his plans for you. Come to HQ tonight at 11. I'll give you your instructions. I'm certain I don't have to tell you this, but don't try to get out of it. See you tonight."

With that, he turned and continued down the alley. Mikan sighed, feeling her heart sinking back into the blackness that lurked so near. But Ruka was waiting for her, so she smacked her cheeks a couple times, plastered a smile on her face and skipped back to the bench.

Persona walked around a pile of boxes and paused, smirking.

"It's endearing, isn't it. How hard she tries to protect you? All this, just so you are spared from using your Alice. And yet, it's so pointless. You fight against your fate and waste the precious gift she's given you. If you keep resisting, how much longer will you be around to protect her?" He turned his head to look at the fire-caster leaning against the wall, breathing heavily. Natsume's expression was black as he glared at the masked man. "Ah well, despite all her efforts, you'll be gone soon anyway. You should be grateful that the elementary school principal is looking out for her so well. Well, goodbye, Natsume. Do be a good boy, if you know what's good for you and the girl." With that, he was gone.

Natsume wiped the blood off his mouth and hand, his heart in turmoil. Was Persona telling the truth? Was Mikan doing all of this for him? All this just to keep his pathetic, weak body alive just a little longer? Even as he thought this, he felt it was true, at least in part. He remembered how she had been that night they had returned from the past. She was terrified of him dying. So now she was sacrificing herself to protect him? Natsume felt sick.

"Dammit!" He slammed his fist against the wall in desperation and rage. Why? Why could he never save those dear to him? Why was he always a burden? Maybe it would be better if he just let his Alice kill him. Then there would be no point in her sacrificing herself. But he knew that wasn't the right answer. Mikan would never forgive him for thinking like that. But still, he couldn't let her do this. He had to stop her, somehow. Schooling his face, Natsume walked back to where Mikan and Ruka waited for him.

The atmosphere was bleak and heavy around the group. Ruka watched the two, baffled. What had happened? Mikan noted it was getting late, so with that the three of them returned to the dorms.

Mikan shut the door to her room behind her and sighed heavily. The smile dropped from her face, and she felt just a little grateful that at least for a little while she didn't have to hold up the charade. Quietly she went around her room, getting ready for what lay ahead of her that night. She slipped on a pair of black pants and a black shirt and set about assembling her necessary items. She was so engrossed in her preparations, she failed to notice the sound of the window sliding open and then closing again. She was completely oblivious to another presence in the room until she felt a hand grab her arm. She started to scream, but another hand clamped over her mouth.

"Shhh…it's just me." Mikan relaxed at Natsume's quiet whisper. He dropped his hand from her mouth and nearly jumped in surprise as she whirled around to glare at him.

"What are you doing here Natsume? Don't you know it's impolite to sneak into a girl's bedroom?"

"I wanted to talk to you." Natsume shot back, facing her with determination. He reached out and grabbed her arm, looking her in the eye. "I overheard you and Persona today at Central Town."

Mikan's eyes widened, then she dropped her gaze to the floor. Futilely, she tried to shrug off Natsume's hand.

"Please, Natsume. I have to go. You should be able to understand. This is something I have to do."

"Why?!" Natsume shook her arm, trying to get her to look at him. "Why do you have to do this? For me? Are you doing this for me?"

Mikan shook her head, but still refused to look at him.

"Why won't you talk to me anymore? Why won't you tell me anything? Mikan, how can I help you if you shut me out? Please?" He pleaded with her, but Mikan wrenched her arm out of his hand, finally looking up at him. Nastume gasped as her angry, tear filled eyes met his.

"Stop it! Just stop! You don't understand anything!"

Natsume could feel his anger building again.

"How can I when you won't tell me anything? I thought you said you loved me? Is this how you treat someone you love? You shut them out?" By now he was practically yelling.

"Oh? You're one to talk. What about you? You keep trying to pretend you're okay, trying to hide how sick you are. Do think I'm stupid? Blind? Besides, when have you ever relied on anyone in the past? I thought of all people, you would understand," Mikan hissed, her eyes challenging.

Natsume pulled back his hand as thought he'd been stung. She couldn't imagine how much that had hurt. He needed her so desperately. Couldn't she see that?

"Mikan…" he whispered, not sure what to say. Suddenly, it felt as though there was a roadblock in his throat. Mikan ignored him, turning and walking towards her desk to grab a small bag off of it.

"I have to go. You'd better go back to your room too, before someone notices." With that, Mikan wrapped her hand around one of the stones on her necklace and was gone before Natsume could react. He stood there for a moment, his hand outstretched, watching the place where she had stood just moments before. He felt so lost, so useless, so heartbroken. Why couldn't he do anything right?

He dropped his hand, and walked in defeat back to the window to return to his room. Today it had seemed like they were finally making progress, like maybe they could bridge the gap between them. But with a few thoughtless, angry words from him, they were now farther apart than they had been.

He lay in bed awake for hours, waiting to hear the sound of movement in the room next door, indicating she'd returned. Worry and fear wrapped tightly around his heart as hours went by without a sign. Finally, sheer exhaustion overtook his already weak body, and he slipped into restless slumber.

* * *

Alrighty, there's the next one. Please R&R. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon.


	16. Dark Angel

Here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I thought about acting out a high level heist mission to acquire Gakuen Alice…but I don't have enough resources, so it's still not mine.

* * *

Mikan crept silently down the halls of the city hospital. She'd been here several times in the last couple months, so normally she would have easily known just where to go. But tonight was different. Tonight took her to an unexpected part of the hospital, an area she had not been to before: the Children's Wing. She was baffled as to why the mission would lead her here, and walked past rooms filled with sick children with trepidation tugging her heart.

Her mission goal was the same as it always was: to remove the Alice of a dying person and bring it back to the ESP for his uses. Just like her mother had done before her. But if this Alice user was a child, why weren't they at the academy? She felt a little sick to think she might be stealing the Alice of a dying toddler, someone to young to be in the Academy yet. But then, there were other possibilities. Maybe it was the child of a very influential family, someone who could afford to keep their child out of the Academy's jealous reach.

Mikan continued done the hall, seeking the room number that Persona had informed her that the child would be in. It didn't help her any that she kept getting distracted by thoughts of the conversation she had essentially fled earlier. She hated fighting with Natsume. Why was it they couldn't seem to have a peaceful conversation lately?

She knew she'd hurt his feelings earlier with that comment about him not relying on others. And she knew why it had hurt him so much, too. Because it just wasn't true. She knew better than anyone – except perhaps Ruka – that Natsume did rely on them, heavily. He just wasn't obvious about it. He needed them for emotional support, even when he couldn't bare his soul to them. He was far more fragile and vulnerable than anyone would suspect. She knew that. But then, that was also why she had thought he'd understand. Just because she couldn't tell him something, or wasn't ready to, didn't mean she didn't need him.

She had trusted him when he couldn't talk to her, like after the whole Luna ordeal, when he was still withdrawn. She knew he was just looking out from them, trying to protect them. Why couldn't he give her the same trust and consideration?

Mikan forced herself to focus back on the task at hand and just in time. A nurse was walking around the corner down the hall, making the nightly rounds. Quickly, Mikan ducked into the room next to her and hid behind a curtain near an unoccupied bed. She held her breath as she heard the nurse peek in to check the occupants of the room, then heaved a sigh of relief when she continued down the hall. Coming out from behind the curtain, she poked her head out the door, looking in both directions to make sure the nurse was out of sight before continuing back on her search.

Mikan felt a little relieved when she found the door just a bit further down the hall. However, recalling what came next, she steeled herself before stepping through. The room was like all the others in this wing, painted cheerily, with multiple beds and a large window at the end. Only one of the beds was occupied, and Mikan approached it, trying to swallow the lump of anxiety rising in her throat.

Gently she pushed back the curtain shielding the bed, and had to stifle a gasp as she looked at the occupant. It was a boy, probably not much older than her. He looked so weak. She couldn't help transposing his face with Natsume's and Kaname-senpai's and could feel the tears pricking her eyes as she did.

The boy had been handsome once, but now his clear skin sagged, evidence of an extreme loss of weight. His hair, which had likely once been a gorgeous silky auburn, was now limp and dull. Mikan struggled with herself for a good many minutes as she tried to focus on what she had to do – and why she had to do it. Stretching out her hand and resting it on his fragile chest, she focused her Alice on stealing his, never taking her eyes off his face.

Moments later, the task was done. Mikan turned to leave, still choking back tears, but was stopped, startled, when a weak hand grasped around her wrist. Turning, her gaze met now-opened emerald green, tired eyes.

"Please, don't go. Stay with me awhile."

The plea was so soft – sad and sincere – that Mikan was frozen in place. She stared at the boy, unsure what to do. He continued, unconcerned with her lack of response.

"I've heard of you from some of the others. You're the one who visits dying Alices in the night and takes their Alices away, right? They call you the Dark Angel."

Mikan tried to register this. She had a title now? That disturbed her more than she would have expected. She didn't want to be so well known. ..not for this at least. She did not want to be remembered for this. Her eyes widened as the boy flashed her a winsome, almost flirtatious smile.

"They got the Angel part right, but I'm not so sure about the Dark. You don't seem very dark to me. Well, aside from the clothes. I bet you're very cute when you're not dressed for sneaking around hospitals. My name is Micah, by the way. My father was American."

Mikan finally found her voice.

"Um…hello,..Micah. Why are you being so friendly? Aren't you angry with me? Afraid? Everyone else who awoke and saw me was…"

She moved toward the bed, her throat thick. Why was she talking to him? She should get away. What if she got caught? But she couldn't turn away from this tragically charming boy.

"Afraid? Of you?" Micah chuckled weakly, then coughed a couple times before continuing. "Who could be afraid of a sweet girl like you? And as to the angry part, well, I obviously don't need my Alice anymore, so I don't see why you shouldn't have it." Micah sighed, leaning back against the pillow, suddenly feeling very tired. Mikan watched him, concerned.

"Are you okay? Maybe I should call a nurse…" Mikan turned to look for the call button, getting ready to run, but Micah stopped her.

"No, please don't. Stay with me." He looked down briefly, then his eyes met hers again, and they looked so immeasurably sad and tired. "I have a confession to make. You see…I don't have much longer, and I was rather sort of selfishly hoping you'd stay with me till then. I don't want to be alone…"

His eyes shifted to the side, and Mikan could feel a tear make its way down her cheek.

"Where are your parents? Why aren't they here with you?"

Micah smiled sadly.

"My father died a long time ago. I have five siblings at home that my mother has to support by herself." He paused briefly. "I don't resent her, for not being here, even though I'm dying. She can't do anything more for me. She has to look out for the ones she can do something for…I just don't want to be alone right now…at the end. I know it's a cruel request. You don't even know me…but please, won't you please stay till then?"

Mikan nodded, tears now making their way unrelentingly. Micah smiled again and relaxed, looking up at the ceiling.

"I bet you have a really cool boyfriend back at the Academy waiting for you, huh? That's where you're from, right? The Academy? I've been in this hospital since I was a baby, so I never went there, but I've heard about it. My mother is an Alice too."

Mikan nodded, but remained quiet, forgetting the first part of his question. How awful it would be to spend your entire life in a hospital.

"So what's your boyfriend like? I bet he's freaking out that you aren't there right now."

"Ah!" Mikan blushed, waving her hands. "He's not my boyfriend…at least…well, he hasn't said so…officially…yet. Anyway, we fought before I left, so I doubt he's very worried."

Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't true. Just because her and Natsume fought all the time in the past didn't mean she didn't worry about _him_ constantly. Besides, wasn't that why they fought in the first place? Because he was so worried about her?

"Of course he's worried. Bet he'd be none too happy to find out you were hanging out with another boy at this hour." He grinned again, albeit weakly. "You know, I've had a few girlfriends now and then. And I think Nurse Minako is rather fond of me."

Mikan choked out a laugh at his devilish smirk.

They talked like this for the next couple hours. Mikan completely lost track of time. After a while, his sentences grew sluggish. His eyes drifted closed, and he stopped talking altogether. At first, his breathing seemed a little labored, but as unconsciousness took him, he seemed relaxed, peaceful. She sat with him, on the edge of his bed, as the minutes ticked by. Not long after, his breath hitched, then stopped completely. Then the heart monitor flat lined. Silently, Mikan released the hand she had clutched and hurried out of the room before the nurses came. Her eyes were so full of tears she could barely see, her throat felt thick and her chest tight. She clung to the Alice stone in her hand like it was a precious treasure. She had only barely met him, yet somehow it felt like she had lost a dear friend.

As she rushed out of the hospital and prepared to teleport back to the Academy, she couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding that this wouldn't be the last time she'd experience this. Natsume's face came to her mind, and she almost suffocated on the overwhelming grief and dread that clutched her.

A little while later Mikan sat in her room wondering how she'd gotten there. Everything was a blur. Looking at the clock, she noticed it was 4 in the morning. She'd have to be up in a few hours to go to class. It was hardly worth going to sleep.

Instead, she stumbled to her desk, pulled out her stowed Alice stones, and tried to formulate her plan. She couldn't focus. She felt heartbroken to think that that boy – no – that Micah's Alice was in the hands of the principal. After struggling with herself for a few minutes, she gave into the despair overwhelming her and sobbed and sobbed.

* * *

Okay, so that was rather depressing. I'll try to put some lighter moments in the next chapter. But regardless, there it is. R&R please!


	17. Wearing Thin

So here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: Too lazy to come up with something interesting so, nope, still not mine.

* * *

Natsume stood outside Mikan's door, waiting. He had half a mind to just rush into her room to check on her, but he was doing his best to restrain himself. He didn't want to start another fight. His patience paid off. A few moments later, Mikan opened the door and stepped out, ready for class. Natsume's eyes scanned over her quickly and immediately registered just how flat out exhausted she looked. It made his blood boil and his heart break at the same time. He was full of rage for Principal Kuonji and Persona and tenderness for her. Despite the emotions roiling within him, he kept his face carefully schooled as she registered his presence there.

Mikan stared at him for a minute in surprise. She thought of a million things she could or should say, but she couldn't conjure up the energy to speak. Micah's face kept flashing in her mind and looking at Natsume now she was once more reminded how easily it could be him.

After another moment of silence, Natsume stepped towards her, breaking the ice.

"Hey, you slept in so late you missed breakfast. Here," his voice was quiet, gentle, as he shoved the bread roll into her hands. "It's not much, but it should keep that obnoxious stomach of yours quiet till lunch." There was no venom in the insult, just the same gentle tenderness and concern.

Mikan stared at the bread roll for a minute like it was a foreign object. Then she smiled, just a little. She was very hungry. It was so kind of him to think of this for her. Natsume read the thank you in her eyes and nodded, then grabbed one of her hands and started leading her down the hall.

"If we don't get going now, we're gonna be late for class," he explained. Mikan simply nodded and followed him, munching on the bread roll as they went.

They made it into class just as the bell rang, and Mikan took her seat beside Natsume. The whole class – inquisitive little grade-schoolers that they are – noticed the two arrive together and how utterly exhausted Mikan looked. As her friends watched her with concern, whispers started flying between the other students. A moment later, Narumi-sensei and the assistant teacher entered, and the room fell silent.

Narumi's gaze shot briefly over to Mikan and a slight frown creased his brow before he turned to the rest of the class with his usual smile.

"My dear students, as you all likely know, the results of the first term exams will be posted outside the class after school. Well, that is all for announcements today. I am very busy as usual, so I will be leaving you to the gracious tutelage of my dear substitute."

The usual routine of the assistant teacher pleading with Narumi-sensei ensued. But, as always, Narumi was out the door and gone, and the assistant was on his own. As soon as Narumi had left the classroom, Natsume turned to Mikan, who was struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Hey, this class isn't all that important, and I'll take notes for you for anything that might matter. Why don't you sleep for a bit? I'll wake you up for Jinno's class." Before Mikan had a chance to argue, Natsume wrapped one arm around her and used his other hand to push her head down onto his shoulder. "Sleep," he whispered.

Mikan was surprised how comfortable this spot was. He radiated warmth, and she could hear his heart beat thumping a steady, calming rhythm in his chest. Despite herself, she soon was lulled to sleep. Their classmates watched the exchange with a wide range of emotions, primarily shock. But after a quick glare from Natsume, they turned their attention elsewhere. Ruka leaned over to question Natsume.

"Hey, what's wrong with her? She looks dead on her feet."

Natsume shrugged. "Mission last night," he whispered back. That was all he needed to say. Ruka understood immediately. With a sad glance at the sleeping girl, he turned his focus back on the class.

The rest of the day went by much like this. Natsume hovered over Mikan constantly, like a fiery-eyed guardian angel. True to his word, he woke her for Jinno's class, but it didn't do much good. Mikan could hardly keep her eyes opened. It was a testament to how pitiful and weary she looked that Jinno acted as if she weren't even there.

Through her haze of sleepiness, Mikan was amazed at Natsume's actions. He was so unabashedly kind and tender. She knew he was at heart, but he had so rarely shown that side of himself in front of other people. But then, if Natsume was anything, it was committed. Whatever he chose to do, he did it absolutely and completely, without hesitation. He would do whatever it took to get the job done. It warmed her through and through that he had turned this dedication to looking out for her. _So this is what it feels like to be loved by Natsume._ She giggled a little at that happy thought, attracting his attention. He looked at her with a little surprise, than a slight smile twitched at his lips. He was glad to see she was recovering a little.

In fact, Mikan felt much better by the end of classes. She had caught up on sleep, and Natsume's constant ministrations had chased to the back of her mind most of the horrors of last night. She was reaffirming her inner resolve to act like her old self as they approached the posted term results.

It was no surprise to see that Natsume and Yuu were listed with the highest scores, as usual, though it sent a little pang through Mikan's heart that Hotaru's name wasn't there as well. Once more, Yuu would be getting the best student award and the week home. Mikan was happy for him. She trailed her eyes down the list and sighed heavily when she found hers. Dead last. She had expected it, but still. Staring at her abysmal score posted on the wall, she felt something inside her snap. Pivoting around, she darted down the hall. It took Natsume a moment to register this; then he went tearing after her. As the two disappeared around a corner, the whispers recommenced.

Mikan made it out of the school building to the gazebo where they often ate lunch and broke down in tears. Natsume was hot on her heals and arrived in the gazebo moments later to find her sobbing. He did the first thing he could think of. Sitting down between the seats, he pulled her into his arms and let her cry. He felt like his heart was being wrenched with each little sob that emanated from her sweet mouth.

"Shhh…I'm here. It's okay. Everything will be okay," he whispered gently into her ear. It probably wasn't true, but he didn't know what else to say. After a moment, her sobs quieted enough for her to start talking.

"I can't do it, Natsume. I can't. I'm not a genius like you. I can't go do missions all night and then still do well in class. I barely make it by in class with putting in my whole effort. I'm gonna fail, and then you all are going to graduate and go to middle school, and I'll be left behind here repeating the same classes over and over again. I'll be the oldest elementary student ever." With that, her sobs picked back up.

Natsume sat bewildered for a moment. This was not the sort of thing he had expected her to pour her heart out to him about. It was just so like her to pick this silly thing, out of all the myriad of things she could and should be upset over. Between the Elementary School Principal, Persona, the missions, and so much else, she was afraid of being held back? It was so ridiculous that if it wasn't also so heartbreaking, he might have laughed.

"Hey now, it's okay. You're not gonna get held back, baka. I can help you study and catch up, and I'm sure Yuu and the others will want to help too." He didn't say that he also highly doubt that the Elementary School Principal would let his precious favorite get held back, however much he may want to keep her in his division. Principal Kuonji was too proud for that. He delighted in elevating his stars, even if he also ostracized them. They were icons to be feared and respected.

Mikan sniffled and nodded into his shirt, which now had a decent sized wet spot on it. He sighed and leaned back as she slowly calmed down, rubbing his hand over her back to sooth her. It occurred to him that most of the people on campus would be floored to see him acting like this. But then, love makes people do strange things.

Back at the group of students surrounding the posted test results, Sumire was taking charge.

"Hey people, what kind of nasty loser goes on talking about people when they're not around to defend themselves, huh?" Sumire's voice was so overpowering that the speculations among the other students – which had risen to the level of a small din – was fairly effectively hushed. Koko snickered to Kitsuneme.

"She would have in the past."

"Oh how our bossy little girl is growing up." Kitsuneme threw in, with a snicker of his own.

"Really though, I wonder what's wrong with Mikan. What happened last night?" Anna commented on the subject of all the gossip.

"Well, regardless, Natsume will look after her. Those two have made so much progress. They're so cute! Natsume has changed so much thanks to her." Nonoko smiled, nodding knowingly.

"I wonder if they're officially going out yet…" Mucho mused. He turned to Koko for an answer. The others in this little gathering followed his lead as well. Koko grinned.

"Not yet, but I'm sure it's coming soon."

"If the principal doesn't do something to stop it…" Yuu added in a soft, sad voice, looking at Ruka who stood silently gazing in the direction his two dear friends had gone with an expression of deep concern. That brought the others back to the reality of the situation, and soon they all were frowning, except for Koko, with his normal placid expression.

Nonoko sighed glumly. "I wish there was something we could do for Mikan. I'm sure she's the reason we all got off so easily from that whole big mess a few months ago."

The others nodded in agreement, brows furrowed in thought. Meanwhile, Sumire had finished breaking up the others and came to join in the conversation.

"What's with all the gloomy faces? Moping around isn't going to help Mikan. We have to take action!"

"How?" came Koko's cheerful, pointed question.

"Eh…um…well…I dunno. But we'll think of something!"

"Yeah!" The other's chorused in, pumping their arms in the air.

Further down the hall, Narumi watch this small group with a soft smile. Mikan had followed his instructions well. She had a good strong group of loyal friends. He felt certain they would find some way to help Mikan and save this academy. Just as he had been right to pair her with Natsume, he now believed he would be right about this as well. Between those loyal to her and those loyal to her mother, the Principal was doomed. He just didn't know it yet.

Yuka paced across the floor of the Hanahime Den. She felt so useless and frustrated. Why wouldn't Mikan talk to her? What could she do?

"Staying here and worrying about her isn't going to help anyone," Hī-sama pointed out, bluntly. "If you want to help her, you and Shiki should return to your original goal of eliminating the ESP's clones on the outside."

Yuka rubbed her eyes, discouraged. "But what good would that do now? It's an endless task."

"That may be so, but every one that _you_ eliminate is one less _she_ has to worry about. Besides, I can't hide you here forever. Sooner or later Principal Kuonji is going to make a move to get you back in his clutches once more. Just because he has her now doesn't mean he'll give up on you so easily. After all, the two of you are his biggest threats."

Yuka sighed. She knew Hī-sama was right. But the idea of abandoning her daughter here in his clutches deeply upset her. However, even if she stayed, she could do nothing for her. It was time she focused back on what she could do.

"Very well. Shiki and I will leave tonight." Yuka paused, inhaling deeply. "Please…would you look out for her while I'm gone? I know you can't do much…"

"I'll do whatever is in my power. You know that."

Yuka nodded and turned to go find Shiki in the other room. They had to prepare.

Principal Yukihara rested his head in his hand, sighing heavily as he sat at his desk.

"Yuka-senpai has chosen to leave tonight." Sakurano watched the older man with concerned eyes. Kazu had been struggling with himself a great deal the past few days. He nodded absently at the information. It was good for her to go. She'd be safer and more effective outside. Sakurano continued talking.

"That thing we were afraid of has happened. Hayami got confirmation from a source last night." The High School Principal's brow furrowed even more, but he remained silent. "We are going to have to make some kind of move soon. Principal Kuonji is not going to wait forever and give you time to plot. He is well aware of how much a threat you and the Middle School Principal are. We have to preempt him if we hope to stand a chance."

Kazu nodded again and looked up at the former student council president with weary eyes.

"I know. But what can I do for that niece of mine now? It's my fault it's come to this. I should have acted decades ago. I did nothing for her father and now what can I do for her?"

"The best thing we can do for her right now is focus on removing the Elementary School Principal." Subaru spoke up this time with his usual stoic expression. _And for my sister as well._

"I know. I know." Principal Yukihara sounded so worn down, so world weary. Silence descended over the room once more.

Natsume walked with Mikan back to her room, discussing schoolwork. As he tried to get a better understanding of what she needed help on, he couldn't help but sigh internally. This was going to be a lot of work.

* * *

Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. Please, please, please, please review! I see a lot of people are reading this, but I'm not getting many reviews. It makes me cry. They don't have to just be good stuff. Critiques and such like are welcome as well. I can't tell how I'm doing if you don't review! Anyway, so yeah…R&R. And thanks! I'll try to have to next chapter up in a jiffy. And I know these chapters have been on the depressing side. Please bear with me. I have to get to a certain point, but then I promise there will be more fun interactions between the characters.


End file.
